Tali gets selfish
by Talilover
Summary: Tali was not a selfish person...until she meet Commander Shepard. Now that she truly wants something she'll stop at nothing to have it and keep it for herself. A "slightly" yandere Tali/Commander Shepard fan fic rated M for smut and safety. Eventually trilogy spanning(currently only ME1) Also earlier chapters under revision.
1. Meeting (revised)

Authors note- Finally got around to revising this first chapter, a few extra lines/some taken out and hopefully a lot less mistakes. If there are still some mistake no reason for me to not come back again right? Anyway for any new readers hope you enjoy this first chapter and the rest of the story. Peace.

* * *

Tali Didn't have much in life, living in a fleet of ships on the verge of breaking down at any given moment ensured that there wouldn't be much in the way of personal belongings. That was fine however as the cramped conditions caused Quarian families to be close so one could forget about the hardships of life, well in most cases. Tali's mother died due to infection when Tali was only eleven years old and her father was distant ever since so Tali was robbed of the felling of comfort that families could have provided. This didn't bother Tali however, she knew life wasn't about what one wanted so she kept growing and kept improving,managing to pass the Quarian marine training that her father provided her and proving to be quite adept at handling technology. She knew she was ready for her pilgrimage, ready to prove that a hard life wasn't enough to stop her from succeeding. With this mindset she left the fleet in search of... will she wasn't sure exactly what yet but she knew she would prove herself and show that she was more than capable of being a useful member of Quarian society

However dead Quarians weren't much use to the fleet and Tali was starting to get more and more frustrated with the thought as Fist's hired thugs were closing in. In theory she could take out the Turian but that would leave her wide open for the two Salarians who at the moment were keeping her suppressed with their pistols and various tech attacks. Tali dared to peek slightly over here cover to assess the situation only to see the Turian right in-front of her, staring her down with the the muzzle of his rifle. There was no time to move, no time to do anything but close her eyes and wait for her world to fade into nothingness. So she did just this with thoughts of what here life could have been, what she could have had in life, and what she could have done for her people filling her mind. One thought stood out more than all of the others however, a selfish thought that made Tali feel ashamed.

 _What would it have been like to love, to be loved?_

Suddenly a thunderous boom erupted and the Turian slumped over,dead with a large hole in his forehead. She heard the panicked cries of the two Salarians before they too were also silenced by the thunderous boom that Tali deduced must have came from a sniper rifle.

 _But who fired that rifle, who just saved my life?_ Suddenly a voice called out from behind her, a deep but friendly voice.

"Are you alright miss..."the voice called out.

The whole situation of nearly dying had been surprising for Tali, but this voice...It surprised her far more. She couldn't explain it but she felt like she'd be contempt with life if she could spend the rest of her days listening to it. It surprised her just how much she enjoyed every little detail of that mysterious voice, deep and comforting. It made her feel safe.

Apparently the ancestors decided that Tali hadn't been surprised enough and decided to give the new mystery voice a rather alluring source. Standing there in front of her was a human male and while Tali never really thought of herself as attracted to aliens, or really anyone with her busy lifestyle, she would have to be blind or stupid to ignore this human's charm. He was tall and even with his armor she could tell he was well built and no matter the species muscles were considered attractive. Of course his body wasn't the only thing and Tali was very happy to see that this human had decided against a helmet for he was extremely handsome, a well defined jawline accentuated by a closely shaved stubble and nice buzz cut gave him a appearance that just screamed "manly". However she had little time to marvel his face as she was absolutely captivated by those deep blue eyes, she felt she could just swim in those eyes an-

"Uhhhh... miss?" The human interrupted, most likely confused by her lack of response and prolonged staring.

Suddenly Tali realized she was just standing there gazing at the human and for the first time in her life was happy she was stuck in a suit as it did a marvelous job at hiding the deep blush she was currently sporting.

"ZORAH!" Tali couldn't help but think that maybe it wouldn't have been so bad to have been killed if she was going to make a fool of herself by practically screaming her name and quickly worked to correct her tone "I mean...m-my name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

"Well its a pleasure to meet you miss Rayya, I'm commander Shepard of the alliance navy" He seemed to ponder something for a bit before speaking again "Rayya is your last name correct? I'm sorry but I'm...not really familiar with Quarian culture" He asked with genuine curiosity as he rubbed the back of his head, apparently a little ashamed and embarrassed that he wasn't well versed in alien cultures.

Great so not only was extremely easy on the eyes with a voice to match but he also cared about making sure to respect Tali's culture. Tali wasn't sure she could keep herself from making a absolute fool of herself as her face's temperature was rising to levels that were surely lethal...maybe she did have a tear in her suit or something.

"Uhm n-no not exactly." Tali smiled to herself as she went on to clarify her name to Shepard. "The nar Rayya part is my ship name, while Zorah is my clan name which would make it my last name in human culture." She gasped slightly as she caught that she was about to start ranting on about her culture, something that she was sure wouldn't have been the most thrilling thing to talk about. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bore you with talk about Quarian cul-"

"Nonsense I find alien cultures quite fascinating and I'd love to hear all about yours." Shepard interrupted with a smile that soon faded. "However it will have to wait as I am currently in the middle of a investigation of Saren Arterius I was told you may have some evidence that could help."

Tali was practically glowing under her suit thinking about what Shepard had just said. He said he wanted to hear about her culture and more importantly said it would "Have to wait" did that mean he wanted to spend more time with her? Oh he also said something about Saren and evidence but she could worry about that another time she had daydreams to get back to, like cuddling into his chiseled body while they talked the day away without a care in the world or maybe even-

"Miss Zorah?"

"O-oh yes right evidence about Saren." She quickly pulled up her omnitool and played the vocal recording of Saren.

"Excellent this is just what we need, that bastard is going down." Said another voice that came from behind Shepard.

Tali was amazed that she had completely failed to notice the two behind Shepard especially as one was Krogan but more importantly was the source of the new voice...a female human, one standing far to close to Shepard for Tali's liking.

 _She seems like a...a slut intent on ruining relationships or stealing what doesn't belong to her...yeah a horrible person._ Tali decided right then and there that she hated whoever this woman was.

Before Tali could put her venomous thoughts in vocal form however Shepard spoke up. "Yeah I agree, this is just what we need" He turned to face Tali again, making eye contact (or at least he assumed he was). "Miss Zorah if you don't mind we need to show this evidence to the human ambassador"

Shooting one last hidden glare towards the woman behind Shepard before turning to face him "I understand, just lead the way and I'll present the evidence to your ambassador as well."

Shepard had intended to simply have her transfer the file but then again they did just meet so maybe she didn't trust him enough to give him extremely incriminating, potentially valuable evidence.

"Yes of course please follow me Miss Zorah"

"Please just call me Tali, Miss Zorah sounds a bit...formal." Tali lied, not really minding when other people called her 'Miss Zorah', but she wanted more from Shepard, to hear just how her name rolled off of his tongue.

 _First name bases for strangers?_ Shepard felt he really did need to learn more about Quarian culture "Sorry this way...Tali" he said with a smile.

 _Yeah...that's alot better._ Tali thought to herself as she let Shepard lead the way.

"With pleasure" Tali was all to aware that she could have just simply transferred the file over to his omnitool but that would potentially mean going their separate ways which simply was not a option. Tali smiled to herself while gazing at Shepard as they walked. She Didn't have much in life, but she would have him no matter what happened. After all it was alright to be just a little selfish...right?

* * *

Tali's mind was near its snapping point, and she was sure she was about to enter shock. She had just presented the evidence to ambassador udinga or whatever his name was (she was to busy daydreaming to catch it) and now that they had what they needed Shepard was about to be on his merry way out of her life. She needed to think of something because one quick walk to the ambassador's office was not enough time together. She wanted, no **needed** , more time with him but what could she do? Suddenly an idea hit her.

"Geth!" she exclaimed without really thinking.

"Beg your pardon Tali?" Shepard said with a face of confusion that was mirrored on everyone else in the room.

Tali didn't care about how embarrassing this situation would have been under normal circumstances because this was not normal circumstances, her life with Shepard was on the line...of course that wouldn't help her stuttering.

"eh w-well like I said this recording came from a geth platform I deactivated and I'm sure Saren has plenty more s-so I should come along to help, I'm a expert on them after all, so I'm sure I could be a huge help, plus I have plenty of experience with ships, you know from being a quarian and all, then again I've never been on a human ship...but I'm sure it wont matter! I mean it cant be that different so I can still do repairs and maintena-'

Suddenly she was cut off by a chuckling Shepard. "Okay Tali I get it, point made, and I'd be happy to have your help." He shot her a smile and continued "Besides I remember that you promised me a lesson on Quarian culture and I intend on making you see that promise through."

Tali was awestruck by just how perfect Shepard could be. "Y-yes right, Thank you and don't worry, by the time I'm done with you you'll know Quarian culture better than most Quarians." She said with a small chuckle.

While Tali made friendly banter on the outside her inner thoughts were...more than friendly. _He said he intends on making me see my promise through...I wonder what he'd do if I promised some more things._

Again the mask proved to be life saving as it currently hid her drooling and concealed her predatory eyes that were currently locked on Shepard. He had no idea that he was already marked for conquest.

Shepard smiled and continued. "Looking forward to it, but first we need to bring this to the council they cant ignore it."

The other human, ambassador udiniewienie, butted in. "Yes go and present this to the council, Anderson come with me we have a lot of work to do, ship,supplies,crew,and anything else the commander will need."

"I get it Udina, lots of political nonsense." Anderson said before turning to Shepard. "And I'm sure we'll be calling you Spectre Shepard soon." He said with a smile and a nod.

"Commander works just fine." Shepard returned with his own smile and nod. "Wouldn't want you giving me the special treatment, might make Chief Williams jealous."

"Thought we've been over this Shepard, It's Ashley or Ash for short, that whole rank and last name thing is way to uptight for my taste." Ashely said with a rather suggestive look towards Shepard.

Tali didn't know much about this woman other than that she absolutely hated everything about the bosh'tet. Looking at her Shepard,Talking to her Shepard, and just being any where near her Shepard made her blood boil. Tali gritted her teeth and let her mind focus on how much she hated this woman...no this pile of filth.

"I wish she wasn't here,why cant she just disappear? I hope she gets caught in a huge explosion or something and just...vanishes." she mumbled darkly to herself.

"You say something Tali?" Shepard said with his grin that seemed everlasting.

"uhhh j-just thought that we should start heading to the council, I mean I-I don't want to seem pushy or bossy or anything I just thought that we really shouldn't waste time with the whole rouge Spectre thing going on, but you're the commander so its up to you it was just a sugges-"

"You're just too cute"Shepard interrupted with another chuckle then noticed the glare that Tali was pointing his way. "R-right I think that's an excellent idea lets start heading that way." He finished with some more chuckling of the nervous variety.

Shepard had no way of knowing that Tali wasn't glaring at him with anger but rather she was staring at him with pure determination. That "You're too cute" had sealed the deal. He was going to be her's and she wouldn't take no for a answer.

* * *

The Normandy was definitely cutting edge as Tali had heard many people describe it. The stealth drive made possible by the Tantalus drive core that was almost the size of half the ship,the slick hull, and the general layout of the ship(minus that infernal elevator) showed that the Turians and Humans knew how to make a good ship. However none of them were as smart as the human known as Anderson because he had made the newest, most important upgrade, making Shepard the captain.

Tali did her job of repairs and maintenance as promised and was genuinely interested in all the guidance chief engineer Adams gave her but she was far more interested in her free time which she was currently using to compare Shepard to the ship.

 _Well they've both got a smooth exterior, Shepard's definitely got the Normandy beat when it comes to layout...I wonder what his main cannon is like._ Tali thought with hot breaths, oddly excited by her own form of innuendos.

Tali continued her less then innocent thoughts as Shepard made his way behind her, walking completely normal but to Tali he may as well have been a ghost because she didn't have the faintest idea that he was behind her.

"How's my newest engineer doing?" He asked with his trademark friendly grin.

"Well she's certainly not doing what she wants to do right now" Tali said without registering that she was currently in a conversation.

"That so? And what would she like to be doing at this moment?" He politely asked, missing the hunger behind her voice, taking it as a genuine request for a break.

"Well that's obvious,Shep-COMMANDER SHEPARD!" Tali had just realized she was talking to someone and more importantly who she was talking to, the very person she was just about to admit to wanting to...

Shepard chuckled. "The one and only." He didn't seem to realize what Tali was about to say as he continued. "Now that we have introductions all sorted out I was wondering how you were doing."

"F-fine." Tali lied. "Just going over some maintenance reports." She lied again. "Can't just sit around daydreaming after all r-right?" Tali was on a role with her lying today.

"Well if you didn't want to daydream in your free time,which I will remind you you do have." Shepard said with a smile that grew as he continued. "I was hoping I could get that lesson you promised me."

"Y-yes of course I would be more than happy to spend some time with you...TEACHING you I mean!" Tali's temperature could surely rival the drive core's at this moment. "What did you want to know?"

"Well earlier you mentioned 'nar Rayya' to be your ship name so I wanted to know the meaning behind that."

"Ah yes you see Quarians have a ship name to let other Quarians know where they come from" Tali's mood dropped a bit "It would be similar to letting one know what planet you come from."

"I know about the Geth and if you don't want to talk about it I understand." Shepard put a hand on her shoulder, something that made Tali scream internally. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable...I should go."

Tali laughed slightly. "Oh no you don't. You're not going anywhere, I'm not done with you." She looked him in the eyes before continuing "You didn't think you could skip out a lesson by talking about the Geth did you?" Tali did get depressed whenever thoughts of the morning war came up but her desire to be with Shepard overruled any feelings concerning the Geth, by far.

Shepard eyes slightly widened before going back to their normal relaxed state. "Wouldn't dream of it." He winked at her. "Wouldn't want an angry Quarian teacher hunting me down now would I?"

A wink like that was surely illegal for it made Tali feel amazing,all thoughts about Geth and lost home-worlds vanished as they were replaced with more carnal thoughts, involving the commander of course.

 _This Quarian is already hunting you, you just don't know it yet._ Tali thought while grinning. _Time to change that._

"No,no you wouldn't." She chuckled, both at Shepard'h humor and how clueless he was about the situation."Now anyway our ship names change after we complete our pilgrimage. We become adults and pick a new ship to make our home, taking that as our new ship name. Instead of nar rayya it would change to vas nomrandy for example." That was the first hint.

"Wait I still don't fully understand the concept of the pilgrimage." Shepard said with a slight look of confusion. "I mean I would appreciate knowing what that's all about if it plays a important part in the naming of Quarians."

"Last I checked I was the teacher here so I plan out the lessons." Tali said with a small laugh. "I appreciate the enthusiasm but please one lesson at a time" Of course Tali understood wanting to know about the pilgrimage but she couldn't be derailed, she still had some more hints to drop.

"Of course, we can always go over it next time." Shepard looked at her with a smile. "And yes as your commanding officer I demand that there will be a next time." He lightly teased.

Tali didn't have to be ordered for a next time, she'd hunt the man down for a next time regardless of orders or not, but that wont stop her from some teasing.

"Oh I suppose I don't have a choice in the matter." Time for hint two. "As your subordinate I'm completely at your mercy." She said with her best attempt at a seductive tone.

"Yep under the rule of the ruthless tyrant Shepard." Shepard chuckled some more. "I demand tribute in the form of lessons and repair work." Shepard laughed along with his own joke, oddly pleased with himself.

"uhh yes of course." _There's no way that just happened, there's no way he missed that._ "Well anyway ship names aren't the only names subject to change." Here comes hint three, and it was about as subtle as a dreadnought. "Our clan names also change when Quarians find a bondmate,the equivalent of marriage in human terms, for example if we we're to get b-bonded my clan name would change from Zorah to Shepard."

Shepard smiled. "I understand, it's interesting to see that cultures that developed light years away have some similarities." He seemed to ponder something a bit before asking. "You're first name is also similar right? Given by parents and with you for life...unless you legally change it of course I mean."

Tali was lost. There was just no way, she refused to believe it. There's no way a man could be so dense."R-right and in Quarian society we don't have a way to change first names, they're with us for life like you said." Tali was still having a mental breakdown inside. How can a man hear someone say they'd be alright with bonding with them and not think anything?

"Well I appreciated the lesson and I look forward to next time but I should go." he began walking away but suddenly stopped and turned around " Oh and Tali? It's John." He smiled then continued on his merry way.

Tali's heart skipped a beat. _John...he told me his first name... and I didn't even have to ask!_ There was no significance in Quarian culture behind telling one your first name but that didn't stop Tali from seeing it that way. _"John...I could say it over and over again and never be satisfied it's just so...perfect._ Tali was breathing hard and her eyes had slightly glazed over. "John John John John John John" she muttered to herself as she wickedly smiled. _Maybe he is a little dense but he'll understand soon enough, I'll make sure of it._

Meanwhile Shepard was in the elevator heading towards the galaxy map to plot out a route to Ferros, the first stop on his quest to find Saren. Of course right now his thoughts were not currently on Saren, rather he was thinking about a certain Quarian engineer and what she had just said. _There's...there's just no way._ His mind had stopped working for a bit when Tali had mentioned bondmates and the changing of the clan name. _It was just a example, there's no way she meant it like that, need to stop thinking about it._ He was sure Tali had simply made a slight error in judgement when she said something so suggestive. _There's just no way she could be interested in me right? I mean we just met!_ He had gotten to the galaxy map by this point. "There's just no way." He mumbled to himself.

He truly had no idea.


	2. Protecting

A few more author notes before starting-Firstly I've compared my story to some others on the site and I've come to the conclusion that my chapters are far to short so starting with this chapter I will be working to fix that. This ties into my first part but I also thought about using the horizontal lines I use to separate my author's notes from the story to skip forward in time or to change character POV(A concept I saw in Tairis Deamhan's story razors edge: Requiem) and I suppose I may as well give credit to Calinstel for his concept of Quarian bonding. I would continue to list of thanks but the list would be quite extensive. Just assume that if you wrote a Tali/MShepard fic I read it and thank you

* * *

Shepard was not a fan of being in uncomfortable situations,hell no one really was, and Ferros was proving to be quite uncomfortable. He had already dealt with a fair share of geth,encountered a group of rapid varren, and had just finished talking to a man who seemed in some state of constant mental pain. These things were unnerving in their own ways but none could quite match the feeling that Shepard got when interacting with Tali. He couldn't explain why but he felt that he was being cornered whenever she was around, and she seemed determined to be around as much as possible. Now Shepard had nothing against her of course but her behavior had been strange recently. Earlier he had ordered some of his squad to stay at Zhu's hope in case of further geth assaults while he took his own team across the the sky-bridge. Tali was meant to stay but she had done everything short of flat out refusing the order. Rambling on about how more geth would be at the ExoGeni headquarters,repairing the mako they intended on using, and how she could use some more field experience. Shepard noticed that as she went on she was getting more frantic and...desperate? She seemed to almost be begging when Shepard had finally caved and took her along with Garrus. Ever since then he swore he could feel a pair of eyes on him at all times. He decided that now was not the time to dwell on it though as he had just got his sights lined up on the first krogan guarding the geth transmitter tower Fai Dan had told him about, and shooting Krogan mercs was far simpler than figuring out what was going on with Tali.

"Garrus tell me you have the other one in your sights, my eyes are starting to get a little heavy from the waiting" Shepard whispered. Shepard had only recently meet Garrus but the two were quickly forming a bond, sure Garrus seemed a little too black and white for Shepard's liking but he had hoped he could change this over their time together. Plus while they had differing opinions on how to get the job some times they did have one thing in common, a awful sense of humor

"I've been waiting on you Shepard, you sure you know how to handle a rifle?"Garrus responded with a overbearing tone of smugness, something that Shepard had learn to associate with Garrus

"I like to think I know what I'm doing, now take the shot"Two shots rang out, both hitting their mark

Before Shepard could make a witty remark about how his shot was somehow better than Garrus's, a third Krogan had emerged from behind a wall and had started to rush towards Shepard. Shepard pulled his trigger only to sigh in annoyance as a clicking noise came out instead of the bang he was hoping for,his gun had overheated and seeing as Garrus was currently using the same model it was safe to assume his had as well. Shepard quickly pulled out his side arm and began to fire on the krogan. Sadly pistols weren't the recommended firearm to use against Krogan and it was quickly becoming apparent why as the krogan seemed to treat the rounds coming out of Shepard's as insect bites. Shepard liked to think he was more than capable of handling himself in close quarters combat but he'd rather not test his skill against a krogan,especially not one that looked as angry as the one in front of him, but it looked as if it didn't matter what Shepard wanted as the krogan was already upon him. Then suddenly a shotgun sounded of behind Shepard and a large chunk of the krogan's head evaporated

* * *

Tali had never been so furious in her life,never had the desire to kill something like she had now. Some worthless krogan merc thought he could harm her Shepard and she was more than happy to show him the error of his ways. The first shot had taken off almost a quarter of his head but that wasn't enough, she wanted his face completely wiped from existence so she fired again smiling as even more of his hideous face ceased to be a eyesore. Still there was a bit left so she fired again completely removing what was left of the krogan's face. She smiled in satisfaction and then turned towards Shepard, only to see a look of shock on his face.

"Tali I...I think you got him the first time"Shepard looked at what was left of the merc "Doubt he'd be getting up from that, right?"

Her heart stopped. Did she displease him? Did he hate her for doing what she just did? No,no it couldn't be that they were meant for each other, there was no way he could hate her. This...this was just a slight misunderstanding. She knew just what to say to clear things up

"I-I heard that Krogan's had extreme regenerative properties and I wasn't sure if one shot would be enough so I- keelah did I overdo it? I-I've never fought a krogan before so I wasn't sure if-"

"It's fine Tali I understand, you were just caught up in the moment" Shepard sighed and continued "Regardless you probably did him a favor, you wouldn't have liked to have seen what I would have done to him" he said with a self satisfied grin

Tali felt like a mountain had been lifted from her shoulders. She loved the way Shepard could ease any situation with humor.

"Oh of course, I think it would be better to have no face than to have a face that's been put through your wrath"she said with a small nervous chuckle

Shepard had a small smile while speaking "Relax Tali its fine" he walked up and put a hand on her shoulder "And thank you"

She had never felt so warm, Shepard's hand on her shoulder was filling her with feeling of comfort she had never felt in life but sadly it didn't last forever as he removed his hand from her shoulder and continued to speak

"That should be all the side objectives we had let's go ahead and make our way to the sky-bridge"Tali knew they had a job to do but she desperately wanted the contact with Shepard to continue, surely those colonists could wait a bit?

Sadly Shepard was already on his way towards the sky-bridge so Tali decided that she'd just have to corner him later...and maybe get something a bit more than a hand on her shoulder while she was at it.

She was about to follow Shepard on his way out when she felt a hand on her shoulder stopping her, then turned to see a Garrus glaring at her

"Later we are going to have a serious talk about what just happened there" Tali was about to say something when he continued "That was no accident, we both know that, but I intend on figuring out what the hell it really was"He removed his hand from her shoulder "Now lets move we have a job to do" and just like that Garrus had followed Shepard out.

Tali was at a loss for words, she was sure the innocent act was convincing enough, it had seemed to work on Shepard after-all. She was not looking forward to the talk that turian bosh'tet had planned but she doubted she could escape it. Now was not the time to dwell on it however. Like he had said they had a job to do, and more importantly Shepard was too far ahead for Tali's liking so she jogged ahead to correct this error and continued with the mission

* * *

Ferros was meant to be a simple first stop on the quest for Saren, a mission to help get the crew situated. Ferros was everything but simple and Shepard was starting to wonder if it would have been better to look for that Asari scientist first. What had started off as a simple kill geth,save civilians mission had turned into a kill a ancient plant life-form with mind control powers, save civilians that are shooting at you mission. They had already meet up with the group that Shepard had left to defend Zhu's Hope and blazed through a swarm of new creatures that had been dubbed "creeper" by Shepard for their...well creepiness. They had also managed to incapacitate almost all of the colonists and were now on their way to confront the creature that had caused this whole mess(after leaving Kaidan,Ashley, and Wrex to tend to the wounded colonist). Of course Shepard was on point with Tali and Garrus following(or in Tali's case, practically walking on top of him)

"As soon as we enter the area fan out and look for anything that may be a plant with mind control powers" Shepard ordered, he hoped they would just follow the order without pointing out how ridiculous it sounded

"Right shouldn't be that hard, you see C-sec training made sure to teach me how to separate mind control plants from normal plants" Garrus quipped, crushing Shepard's earlier hopes "If I remember correctly the mind control ones looked more menacing"

"Look Garrus I really don't know what you want me to say, I'm trying my best" Shepard sighed "Okay just...just follow my lead" The three walked inside and were immediately meet with the sight of a very menacing plant.

"Hey boss, I think I found it"Garrus said innocently

Shepard sighed "Great work Garrus, glad to see those years of c-sec training put to use"sometimes he had really wished Garrus could be a bit more like Tali on these missions, sure she was a little on the creepy side with her constant staring and closeness but at least she was quiet for most of it. She always seemed to be thinking about something, only really speaking up when addressed directly or if something extremely noteworthy occurred on the mission.

As if the the Thorian had been reading Shepard's mind,which for all he knew could be a possibility, something very noteworthy did happen. A Asari had spawned from the mouth(?) of the Thorian. Shepard spared a glance towards Tali expecting some form of outburst only to notice that she had noticeably tensed up when he had done so and quickly focused his attention back towards the Asari.

"I have no idea who you are or what you're doing here,or rather how you got here but I suggest you lea-"

"The old growth answers to no one"the Asari suddenly blurted out, cutting Shepard off mid sentence

"Oh okay, old growth, got it, fully understand" Shepard pulled out his pistol "Open fire"

Shots rang out in rapid succession and brought a quick end to the strange green Asari that spouted out. Shepard had quickly deduced that was no real Asari however, after-all last time he checked they only came in blue and purple. Add the fact that "it" had referred to itself as the old growth and Shepard was more than eager to end the conversation and find a way to get rid of the center of mass still dangling in front of him.

Shepard noticed a weird tentacle attached to the wall to the right of them...Dangling, well that was pretty simple to deal with. With this in mind Shepard's squad set out to solve the Thorian problem and release the colonist from it's control

* * *

Tali was in high spirits, she had just spent a good ten minutes gunning down the same Asari bosh'tet who had the audacity to try and have a conversation with John. Of course it wasn't a real Asari and the conversation was less than twenty words long but Tali wasn't the picky type. However those high spirits soon faded and for very good reasons.

They had just stumbled across a Asari commando that had apparently worked for matriarch Benezia(and in association Saren) who appeared to be the genetic template for all of the strange Asari clones that they had just finished seemed to genuinely regret her actions and wished to do no further harm but she wanted to meld minds with Shepard.

A mind meld. Tali started to see red if a woman so much as shook hands with Shepard, and a mind meld was far more than a handshake. They would connect their mind and knowledge for a brief period of time, essentially becoming wanted to kill the Asari just for suggesting it but no matter how much she hated it, it needed to be done. Without that "cipher" she had mentioned Saren would find the conduit and the reapers would knew that if the reapers returned it would mean the end of the galaxy, more specifically the end of Shepard. She couldn't let that happen so she'd sit here,boiling in rage, while that Asari bosh'tet melded minds with Shepard, After-all she could sort out these feelings after the mind meld was done.

Luckily mind melds were almost instantaneous so she didn't have to wait long

"Well that was...different"Shepard rubbed his head "Hope it was worth it, got a nice little headache from the whole ordeal"

"I'm sorry but any pain should go away shortly" the Asari commando, Shiala said "Normally mind melds don't cause any discomfort but I did just try to pass on the entire essence of a species"

Shepard chuckled "It's fine but please don't try to explain what just happened anymore, would just make my head hurt more" He glanced around a bit before continuing "Well guess that's that guess we'll be on our way now."

Shiala seemed taken aback "Y-you'll really let me go?"

Shepard spoke as if the whole situation was perfectly normal "Well I don't see any reason not to. It's obvious you have no intention to go back to Saren and you haven't attacked us...technically"

Shiala smiled "Thank you commander, I wont waste this chance you've given me"

She had no idea. No idea that while Shepard had decided to be merciful and spare her life that Tali had no such intentions. She had gotten far to close with her Shepard by melding minds and there was only one woman who was aloud to be close to him, not to mention she had caused Shepard pain and the way Tali saw it was her duty to protect him from any harm. She had already done so with that Krogan merc from earlier and she had no problems doing it again.

"I'm sure you won't" Shepard said while heading towards the exit,fully intending to finally get off of this strange planet "Now I don't want to seem rude but we're on a bit of a tight schedule here so...We should go"he said while gesturing towards to Tali and Garrus

Tali wanted to get of this planet,preferably to spend some time with Shepard back on the Normandy, but she needed to stay just a while longer. She had to get rid of another problem, had to protect Shepard like she did earlier. "S-Shepard if you don't mind I'd like to stay a while longer" She heard a slight groan emit from Shepard "Y-you don't need to stay I just wanted to see if I could...do some repair work around the colony"

Shepard sighed "Understood, but I want you to report back to the ship within thirty minutes"Shepard grinned before continuing "Should be more than enough time for a genius like you to fix this whole colony up"

Tali loved getting compliments from Shepard, loved knowing that she had pleased him in some way. She knew that no one could see her face but she still worried about the blush she was currently sporting. "T-thank you Shepard and f-for the record fifteen minutes would have been enough"

Shepard chuckled "Of course sorry for insulting you" he shifted his gaze to Garrus "How about you Garrus? Care to keep me company on the way back to the ship?"

"I know you're desperate to spend time with me Shepard, and I hate to break your heart, but I also intend on staying behind for a bit" He then shifted his gaze towards Tali "See if I can help out Tali a bit"

Shepard sighed "Guess only time can tell if my broken heart can be mended"He began to mutter while walking towards the ship "so much for loyalty"

As soon as Shepard was out of hearing range Garrus spoke to Tali "So about that talk"

* * *

Garrus had planned to figure out what the hell was wrong with Tali back on the Normandy between missions but the perfect opportunity had just presented itself. He noticed Tali glaring at Shiala and if looks could kill...well the conversation with her would have been cut very short. Garrus had a suspicion that Tali didn't intend on killing with looks however and decided that leaving her alone with a perfectly working shotgun wouldn't have worked in Shiala's favor so he simply decided to stay as well. So here they were with thirty minutes all to themselves

"So about that talk" Garrus narrowed his eyes " I was thinking now would be the perfect time" when Tali failed to respond he decided to continue "Let's start with you telling me just what your idea of "repair work" is"

"Fixing a problem" Tali said without any emotion

"Let me guess, that Asari is a problem"Garrus already knew her intentions but he was still hoping to find the motive

"S-She hurt him, of course she's a problem" Tali had already decided to abandon the innocent act. As much as she hated to admit it Garrus seemed a bit to sharp to fall for it "No one should get away with hurting him"

Garrus's eyes slightly widened. It didn't take long to figure out that Tali was referring to the headache that Shiala had given the commander by melding minds. Even so that couldn't be the real motive could it? Surely it was something else that Shiala had done. Was Tali holding her responsible for the actions of her strange clones that the Thorian had made?

"Hurt him?" Garrus said with a tone of disbelieve "I'm assuming that you're talking about the commander and last I checked all she did to him was give him a headache...accidentally need I remind you."

"IT DOESN'T MATTER" Tali suddenly screamed "That...bosh'tet hurt him."

Garrus wasn't ashamed to admit that the sudden outburst had caught him by surprise but it had given him some valuable insight. Tali cared deeply for the commander,that much was obvious, but even then a headache wouldn't have driven her to kill someone for him.

"This isn't about revenge for hurting the commander"his thoughts went back to the krogan merc" We both know what happens to someone who tries to hurt the commander don't we?" He understood the situation perfectly,why she had butchered that krogan earlier "No this isn't because she hurt the commander, this is because she got close to the commander"

Tali was at a loss for words "I-I Just wanted to protect him"

"Protect him?Come one Tali no need to lie I've already got you all figured out. You're jealous,jealous because that asari managed to get so close to the commander"He switched to his trademark smug tone before continuing "You're jealous that all that asari had to do was ask and she was able to do one of the most intimate things in the galaxy with the beloved commander"

Tali didn't know what to say, so she said nothing. Opting to instead sulk as she prepared herself for whatever this Turian bosh'tet would say next.

Nothing could have prepared her for what he did next

"Have you ever wondered what the commander would do if you asked?"

"W-what?"

"Well you're no asari but there are things just as intimate as a mind meld...more exciting too"

Tali was lost, she was sure this was some form of c-sec interrogation but he was...teasing her?"

"I-I don't understand"

Garrus smirked(or at least the Turian equivalent) "obviously not so here's the rundown, You keep the cold blooded murder limited to people who are actually trying to kill us and we won't have a problem" he narrowed his eyes "But if you go around killing anyone who so much as glances in his general direction, we WILL have a problem"

"I...I understand" Tali muttered like a child who had just been scolded

"Great...well I think our thirty minutes are about up"He started to make his way towards the ship as if nothing had happened

"W-wait!" Tali had no idea how he was treating this whole situation so casually, but that didn't matter she had a very important question right now "W-what should I do if...if someone gets to close for my liking"

Garrus looked her dead in the eyes "Make them know he's off the market...of course you have to let him know he's of the market first" he winked at her "I'm sure you'll figure out how"

"I-Thank you Garrus" Tali smiled. Maybe Garrus wasn't all that bad

"Don't mention it...seriously don't, not sure how the rest of the gang would react to knowing a deranged quarian with a obsession with the commander has access to the ships drive core"

...okay maybe he was that bad "Wha-I am not "deranged" l-lets just head back to the ship"

"Right wouldn't want to keep the commander waiting would we?"Garrus said with his usual smug tone

Tali Didn't even bother to respond, she was too busy thinking. Let him know he's off the market? She had just a few ideas...and she couldn't wait to try them out


	3. Taking

Author's Notes-I have gone back and read my work and I can honestly say I'm disappointed on how many spelling/grammatical errors there have been. There is some sort of "beta reader" system on this site that I don't fully understand or know how to use but if my assumption is correct it would help drastically with the writing of the story so please someone pm me the details. On a side note I'm thinking about condensing the first three chapters into one (and making small writing improvements while I'm at it) so don't be alarmed if two of the chapters suddenly vanish. I'm also gonna start writing thoughts out in italic to make it easier to distinguish between thoughts and actual dialogue. Now onto the story

* * *

Garrus was no stranger to pain, his c-sec career had been less than tranquil after all. He had been shot, beaten, and there was always that one experience with the enraged Hanar that still haunted his dreams.

None of those past wounds or mental traumas could compare to how painful it was to watch Tali try her damn hardest to seduce the Commander, or maybe even worse was the commander's reaction to the half-baked plan to get in his pants.

They were currently searching Prothean ruins on Knossos for Dr. Liara T'soni and it took every ounce of willpower that Garrus had to not to scream out "what the hell are you doing".

Sure one could say he brought this upon himself, he had encouraged her to actually make some progress with her relationship with the commander instead of daydreaming and butchering people who got close to him, but he had thought she would do something more...well progressive.

She was currently walking, or rather swaying in front of Shepard, and had done everything in her power to make sure she remained in front of him. He noticed her constant glances back to see if the commander was checking out the goods, and Garrus also noticed the frustrated huff she would do when she realized he wasn't. There was a delicate little pattern to the whole process that Garrus had all figured out- Sway your hips, check for progress, get annoyed, Sway hips more, repeat. Maybe it would have been funny if it wasn't just so pathetic.

Garrus briefly thought about helping her, but quickly remembered the stupid little flirtatious quips she constantly thew at the commander on the Mako ride here. He thought about every single comment about the commanders "skill with firing loads" and "showing a girl a good time" and decided to let her suffer, even if it looked like she was on the verge of snapping her spine if she swayed any harder.

Garrus glanced towards the commander, curious to see if Tali's behavior had truly left him unaffected

His heart slightly broke for Tali

The Commander was walking perfectly normal, completely focused on the objective, not a single glance even slightly downwards.

Garrus wanted to be surprised, but then again Tali's attempt at seduction was more annoying and cheesy than alluring. The commander may be lighthearted and friendly, but he was still a soldier with a heart of stone, no way in hell would she get any reaction from him with this.

* * *

 _Innocent_ _thoughts John, innocent thoughts_

These words played a never ending loop in the commander's mind, serving as his only tether to common decency

He was sure there was some reason Tali was walking the way she was, maybe it was because of her oddly shaped legs or maybe it was simply because of the envirosuit she constantly wore. It did seem rather tight after all...tight in all of the right places

A quick little chomp at his tongue got the commander's mind back on track. He was here for critical information that may save the galaxy itself, an answer to the visions he had gotten back on Eden Prime, quite possibly the best set of hips he's ever laid his eyes on, To save a asari scientist, and...okay seriously how does she even fit in something so tight?

He noticed Tali glancing back again and quickly made sure to correct his line of sight. He knew it was wrong to be drooling over her body the way he was, Hell as far as he knew she was still technically a kid in quarian culture. It made him sick to his stomach thinking about how disgusted she would be if she knew how much he was thinking about her body and daggers of fear poked at him everytime she looked back.

 _Did she catch me?_  
 _Did she just huff in disgust?_  
 _Did I screw up royally_?

The questions were a never ending torrent in his mind. Shepard cared about her, well all of his squad, and never wanted to make any of them feel uncomfortable and nothing would make someone more uncomfortable than knowing your CO was hounding for your body. She deserved better than this, deserved to be viewed as something more than a lump of well shaped flesh. She was too pure to be viewed in that manner, far too pure

* * *

 _Look at me John_

 _I'm putting on such a show just for you John_

 _Please Look at me, Only at me_

* * *

Shepard sighed and decided to jog to Tali's side, being behind her for much longer would take up any self restraint he could still muster. He needed to take his mind off of the things he wanted to do to Tali, and there was only one tried and true method Shepard knew

Humor(or at least his attempt at it)

"Figured you were getting a little lonesome all the way up here, thought I'd keep you company" He said with smile

Tali sighed "I suppose it wouldn't be that bad, but what about Garrus? I'm sure he has feelings too"

Of course Tali's projected words were the exact opposite of the ones in her head

 _Yes John I need your presence._  
 _Forget about that Turian bastard, forget about everyone else._  
 _Only be close to me._

Shepard huffed "I wouldn't be so sure about that, no one with feelings could be so cold"

Garrus suddenly forced himself into their conversation "I only act so cold because I care so much, be embarrassing if you knew"

Shepard turned his focus towards him, a turn of events very much unwanted by Tali, before speaking in the most dramatic tone he could muster "But I want to know! show me that you care!"

Garrus's face became grim and sullen and he spoke with a pained voice "I-I can't I'm just to afraid" he looked Shepard dead in the eyes "What if you don't feel the same?"

Shepard's eyes softened and he spoke calmly"You'll never know unless you tell me"

Garrus breathed in and braced himself "I think you say I should go far too often"

Shepard glanced down at the ground before whispering "I know"

Garrus still had the same sullen look on his face,Shepard had a defeated look, and Tali had absolutely no idea what just happened

Suddenly she heard a very poor attempt at holding in laughter coming from the two of them, before they finally gave up and their booming laughs echoed in the chasm.

Shepard was the first to manage a sentence "For the record I don't feel the same, I say it just as much as anyone else"

Garrus struggled with calming down for a bit before responding "Except I've never heard anyone say that before in my life, see they tend to say normal things like see you later"

Shepard sighed before turning to Tali "Thoughts? I could really use some backup here"

 _You're perfect  
_ _I don't care what you say as long as I hear your voice  
If only you knew about the countless recordings of you that I listen to at night_

 _"_ I haven't really noticed anything" Tali said reassuringly "I Just figured everyone has their own way of ending a conversation"

Just as Tali had finished her sentence a new voice called out to them, a feminine voice

"Hello? Is someone out there? Please I'm trapped and need assistance!"The voice called out

Shepard whispered to Garrus and Tali "Guess that's one way to end a conversation" before responding to the call for help "Dr. Tsoni? I'm Commander Shepard of the Alli-I'm a council spectre and I require your help in tracking down the rouge spectre Saren and something called the Conduit"

Dr. Tsoni seemed puzzled "Errm that sounds like a very noble goal but well...I'm trapped behind this prothean force field"

Shepard sighed "Yes in hindsight that should have been the first thing I addressed"He looked around for a bit before continuing "Sooooooo...where's the off switch? I mean these things do have an off switch right?"

Dr. Tsoni sighed "Well yes it does but...it's on my side of the forcefield"

Garrus spoke up "Well that's going to complicate things"Then sighed and spoke in a condescending tone "You don't think you could wiggle around or something to get to the switch do you?"

If Dr. Tsoni had picked up on the sarcasm of Garrus's voice she didn't show it "Unfortunately I am in some sort of stasis field and can't move a single muscle, I'm afraid you will have to find some way inside"

Garrus looked at Shepard who just shrugged his shoulders, Then checked if Tali had any bright ideas only to see she was already brimming with anger and hate for this new woman,most likely for something as silly as "looking at her Shepard" or something else deranged

"We could try shooting it" Garrus said "Seems to be our way of solving problems recently"

"I am a fan of shooting our problems but I doubt our weapons would do much against the force field or the surrounding earth" Shepard responded

"Surrounding earth? Isn't that the name of your homeworld"Garrus asked, genuinely confused

"Yes but we also call things like sediment or stone earth sometimes" Shepard responded "Don't ask me why"

"You named your planet after dirt?" Garrus asked "We sure as hell don't call dirt Palaven"

Shepard sighed in annoyance "Another time Garrus, or preferably never bring it up again" He turned his attention back to the asari scientist "Do you know anything that could help us get in there? I'd rather not spend much more time with my Turian friend here"

"Words can hurt too Shepard"Garrus called out while walking away to explore the rest of the chasm for anything useful

"Well for starters there is a elevator behind me that you could use to get to my level,so you wouldn't have to dig straight forward" Dr. Tsoni responded

Shepard didn't quite understand. Wouldn't it make more sense to figure out how to dig through the ground before worrying about the direction?

"And secondly there should be a mining drill somewhere out there that was used to excavate the area around these ruins" She continued "I would prefer if you didn't shoot it directly at me however"

 _Ah guess that makes sense._ "Understood we'll have you out of there in no time, thank you for the information Dr. Tsoni" Shepard said in his business mode voice

Dr. Tsoni smiled " You have my thanks commander, and please my name is Liara"

Shepard smiled and nodded before running of to find the mining drill. Liara smiled to herself something about that man made her feel safe, that everything would be fine. She felt comfortable when he was around, felt she could let down her guard and trust him to watch over her.

And then she heard him calling out "Hey Garrus! Big laser! We're going to shoot our problems with a BIG laser"and nervously tensed up a bit

"Don't get too friendly" a previously unheard voice spoke to her, and it spoke in a very dark, menacing tone

Liara turned to see a quarian staring directly at her. She had no idea who this quarian was but she definitely wasn't helping her calm down "B-beg your pardon?" Liara stuttered out

"Don't get too friendly" the quarian simply repeated before turning to leave

Liara knew nothing about that strange quarian woman but she had made her feel extremely uneasy,more than the impending laser that would be shot in her close proximity. Who knew what she would do if she got "too friendly"

* * *

Shepard walked into the meeting room and addressed everyone "Well a dead krogan,seismic event, and a fair share of geth later we finally have Dr. Tsoni on our team" He grinned and winked at Liara "Let me be the first to say I think it was worth it"

Liara, who was currently seated right next to Tali, blushed a little before she heard what can only be described as a growl emitting from the quarian next to her

"R-right" she started nervously "It's a pleasure to be here and again I must thank you for getting me out of those ruins"

Suddenly the voice of yet another female filled the room "Okay cut the crap, can you help us or not?"

Shepard glared at the woman "To put what Chief Williams said in a more acceptable manner, Liara do you think your knowledge of the protheans could help with our mission in anyway?"

A very large krogan spoke afterwards before she could respond "Don't worry if you can't, we could always use someone with biotics as a bullet sponge"

Shepard was about to say something before the krogan continued "I mean't with an actual biotic barrier Shepard" He flashed a toothy grin "Everyone knows you only let me soak up bullets with my actual body"

Shepard shrugged "You're a krogan, figured that was your specialty"

The krogan was quite for a bit and Liara worried if the commander had actually upset him before he spoke once again "Pretty much is nowadays"

Shepard spoke with no humor in his voice, rather he spoke with a sincerity Liara had seldom heard in her life "We'll talk about changing that later Wrex"

Liara decided to speak up "While I don't know anything about this conduit you mentioned earlier I'm sure I could help decipher any Prothean ruins we come along on the way which may help lead us"

 _Decipher Prothean hints?_ "Actually Liara how much do you know about prothean beacons?" The commander asked

"Beacons?" Liara asked "They are essentially a huge storage of knowledge left behind by the protheans. they are extremely rare and the few we do seem to find are usually damaged beyond repair"

 _She's going to flip when she hears this._ "I've actually come into contact with a prothean beacon and wa-"

"You've found a functioning prothean beacon?!"Liara suddenly exploded with a mix of excitement and disbelieve

 _Knew it._

"Yes however it is no longer functioning" He noticed her mood drop a noticeable bit "However before it...well exploded, it implanted a strange vision in my brain"

"That's amazing commander! I'm surprised your mind could handle the beacon, you must have extraordinary willpower" Liara beamed

 _Well that's a backhanded complement if I've ever heard one._ "Don't think too highly of me now" He said with a chuckle "Even after obtaining the cipher I can still barely comprehend what it's about"

Liara seemed confused "I'm sorry commander what is this cipher you speak of? I've never heard of such a thing in my life"

 _Oh this is just going to make her day_ "I guess Shiala just came up with the name on the spot but to summarize it basically gives me the same..."Shepard struggled to find the right word to describe it, he still didn't fully understand it himself "feeling as a prothean"

He saw Liara's eyes widen in astonishment and could tell she was on the verge of squealing like a school girl "That's simply amazing commander! I've been studying protheans all my life and you may have already surpassed me in understanding them!"

Ashley suddenly spoke up again "So no you can't help us"

Wrex suddenly cleared his throat and mumbled "bullet sponge"

Liara wanted to help but she just couldn't think of anything. Just when she was about to accept her fate as bullet sponge she heard the familar voice of the turian that had accompanied the commander on the mission to rescue her

"Shepard her knowledge about the protheans could still be useful. If you were to few everything she knows about the protheans with the viewpoint of a prothean it could help you better understand the vision"Liara noticed that Garrus seemed to look right at the quarian sitting next to her before continuing "If you were to meld minds-"

"NO" the quarian suddenly screamed while shooting up from her seat. Everyone stared at the quarian and she seemed to lose any confidence she had

"I-it's just that the last time the commander melded minds h-he seemed to suffer some mental pain" She stumbled over her words

 _Don't touch him  
He's mine, only I can touch him  
Keep away from him you asari whore_

The commander looked at her,directly at her for a bit before grinning slightly "It mean's alot to me that you worry about me that much Tali but this needs to be done" he shifted his gaze to Liara "Besides I'm sure Liara is just dying to get a glimpse at this vision she's been hearing so much about"

Any protests that Tali had quickly faded as her thoughts lingered on what he had just said

 _He cares that I worry about him  
My feelings and thoughts mean alot to him  
That means I mean alot to him  
He cares about me  
He...loves me_

Tali was far to busy fantasizing in her own little world to notice the mind meld happening right in front of her, just like the previous one it didn't last very long

 _He loves me,He loves me,_ _He loves me,_ _He loves me,_ _He loves me,_ _He loves me,_ _He loves me,_ _He loves me,_ _He loves me_

Her eyes had glassed over as she repeated this thought to herself in a similar fashion to when he had first learned his first name. She was too preoccupied with her thoughts to notice that the meeting had been finished and the rest of the squad had already left the room, everyone except the commander _  
_

He walked up to her and began speaking, but she didn't hear the words

 _He loves me._ Her vision focused on the commander standing infront of her and her breathing became ragged and hot.

 _I love you_

Suddenly she remembered a previous conversation she had with Garrus

 _You need to let him know he's off the market first_

She smiled slightly under her helmet

 _It's time to show him how much I love him_

Shepard was still trying to speak to Tali but the conversation was laughably one sided "Tali? is something wrong?"

Suddenly he finally heard her voice but something about it was...different almost haunting "No John everything is fine" He felt her put a hand on his chest

Shepard was a taken aback by the sudden physical contact and the usage of his first name "Tali?" The hand started to move up to his neck

She whispered "Don't worry John everything is fine now" Suddenly the commander felt a slight prick in his neck

Confusion was setting in far faster than whatever Tali had just injected him with "Wh-what did you just" On second thought whatever it was taking effect very quickly and the commander noticed the edges of vision fading. He stumbled forward a bit before being caught by Tali. "It's fine John just rest" Shepard wanted to resist but simply couldn't, his vision quickly faded completely.

He slumped down unconscious, deeper into Tali's embrace. Tali smiled before walking towards the exit of the meeting room with the commander in tow

 _I love you_

She was stopped a few times by the crew and occasional squad mate but quickly explained the mind meld must have put more mental strain on the commander than expected and that he consequently fell unconscious shortly afterwards.

 _I love you_

Just as planned Dr. Chakwas easily believed Tali's story and didn't bother checking his bloodstream for any drugs, and quickly deemed that rest should be all he needs

 _I love you_

She carried the commander eagerly to his cabin, hacked the door's lock to ensure that they wouldn't have to deal with any unwanted interruptions, and set him on his bed.

 _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you,_ _I love you_

 _I'll make you see just how much I love you  
This will be the start of a long life together  
Of course you don't get to say no_


	4. Claiming(NSFW)

Author's notes- Oh boy here we go my first ever smut writing(and oddly enough my longest chapter so far) **CONTENT WARNING** this will "technically" be rape so if that type of thing bothers you I recommend skipping this chapter. Don't worry there will be more smut later down the line that's a bit more...innocent (if that makes sense)I should also say that this chapter takes heavy influence from Secret writter's "Warmness of the Soul" story(although the particular chapter with influence was apparently written by a friend)

* * *

Patience is said to be a powerful force. Patience keeps us from making hasty decisions, ones that could seriously impact our lives and the lives of those around us. Patience could be viewed as a inhibition, something that keeps us from acting on our most primal instincts, Something that keeps us civil.

Tali didn't give a damn about patience, inhibitions merely got in the way of what she wanted.

Sadly what she wanted was taking his sweet time in waking up, and the waiting was already beginning to torment her.

 _Keelah John you're killing me  
_ _Please wake up John, I need you  
_ _Hurry John. Hurry._ _Hurry._ _Hurry._ _Hurry._ _Hurry._ _Hurry._ _Hurry._ _Hurry._

She didn't want to do anything while the commander was sleeping, this was going to be the start of their love life and both parties involved needed to experience it, not just her but everything he did tested her resolve. Every sound that escaped his mouth made her want to lock her lips with his and never let go, and every slight shuffle he did made her want to strip the clothes from his body and take him immediately. She wanted to wait for Shepard but the battle between what little patience she had remaining and her extreme lust was a battle quickly reaching it's end.

 _Just a bit wont hurt right?  
I just need a little contact  
I'll stop myself before doing anything big_

She nervously climbed on to the bed with the commander and positioned herself to be able to rest her head on his chest. It was the best feeling she had ever experienced in her life. Being this close to the commander,with only their clothing between them, was filling her with a warmth that she had never felt in her life. Feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed filled her with a sense of comfort,knowing he was so close calmed her troubled mind.

Or at least it did for a time.

 _More. I need more._

She shifted her body so she could completely rest her body on top of his. She felt like a fool, how could she have consider merely resting her head on his chest as the best feeling of her life? What was a mere head's worth of contact with him worth compared to being able to have every fiber of his being touching her?Her breathing became more rapid, to the point of fogging her visor. The anticipation was beginning to kill her, the more she thought about the night the higher her temperature rose. She was sure this was going to be a night to remember, a night full of discovering new "best feelings of her life". She needed something more but what? How could she get more contact than what she was already receiving? Just as Tali was desperately racking her mind for a new way to hold off her desires the commander groaned and slightly shifted.

Tali gasped in excitement and smiled widely...before realizing the commander was still fast asleep. She had never had her dreams and hopes crushed as she did in that moment but just as she was about to stoop to new levels of sulking something hit her, or rather prodded her. Tali's mind stopped working briefly working before kicking into overdrive.

 _I-is that his..._

She lifted her head ever so slightly from the commanders chest to get a better view. There in all of it's concealed glory was a rather noticeable bulge just behind her rear. Tali was at a lost for words, she turned to look at the commanders face, to find that sadly he was still deeply asleep.

 _Wake up John, Now.  
I need you._

She looked back down, she just couldn't keep her eyes off of it. It was so close to her, so dangerously close. Tali could hardly see out of her visor at this point, she desperately wanted to just take the dreaded thing and throw it out the airlock but she couldn't. Not because of the possibility of getting sick, she couldn't care less about that at this point, but because she desired to reveal her face to the commander while he was up. She told herself it wouldn't be the same if he woke up to her face, she wanted it to be a symbol of much she was willing to grow for him. The Quarian girl she was in the past never would of dreamed of taking off a single piece of her suit, but the Quarian woman she was now would, she'd take off every single piece for him. She wanted him to know just how much he had changed her. Technically she wasn't a woman yet but that would be changing soon enough, or at least she hoped.

Well not exactly hoped, hope was reserved for situations were you aren't sure of the outcome, and Tali was dead certain of the outcome tonight. She would have him, and she was going to have him now. With great effort and force of will she tore herself from the commander's body and began the delicate process of removing his clothes. She desperately wanted to just get his pants off but human clothing seemed to have other ideas for her. She first had to take of his shoes and when she did that she noticed some strange cloth underneath that was concealing the commander's feet. With a shrug she ignored them before moving,ever eagerly, towards his pants. The strange metal device in the middle of his pants stood no chance against her burning desire and they were also soon cast away. She began to move towards the commanders shirt before realizing that it would be awfully difficult to take off considering that the commanders hand's were currently bound to the bed. Leaving a single inch of the commanders flesh hidden was simply not an option however and Tali grasped his shirt by the collar.

 _Hope he isn't overly fond of this shirt._

With every ounce of force she could muster she tugged and quickly reduced his shirt to ruins. All that was left now was the underwear, one single piece of cloth separating her from a full look at the commanders body. Frankly it didn't stand a chance and like every piece of clothing before it it was promptly disposed of. At long last it was visible, and Tali was rather pleased to examine it...thoroughly. It was just as large and imposing as the rest of the Commander, if she were to guess it was just above eight inches in length. It was indeed quite the sight but Tali didn't strip the commander down to satisfy her sense of sight.

She wanted, no **needed** , to touch it and when the commander did finally decide to awake she would move onto the other senses, but that would have to wait until then, for now touching it would have to do. She nervously inched her three digits towards it and was just about to grasp it when she stopped.

 _No this...this isn't right._

She pulled her hand back, before quickly throwing her body on top of the commander's once again, this time with her entrance hovering just over his now exposed member.

 _Much Better._

She lowered her lower half until they were at last touching and moaned in satisfaction. Her suit was blocking the joy of full contact but that wouldn't stop her from enjoying what she could, and there was plenty for her to savor. The suit may be able to block the sense of touch to a certain degree, but it didn't keep her from knowing when something was touching her, couldn't stop her from knowing just how close he was. The suit had a certain amount of temperature control but it couldn't stop her from feeling the heat that emitted from the commander's member. The suit was effective at absorbing liquids to a certain degree but it wasn't effective enough as Tali's wetness had already begun to dribble onto the commander, and she was just beginning.

She began to slowly sway her hips back in forth, savoring the sensation of feeling the commander's member rubbing against her entrance. Gradually her speed would increase, as would the volume of her moans and gasps. She took great care to make sure she didn't vocalize her pleasure too intensely, sadly the cabin was not sound proof and she'd rather not have any annoyances come along and ruin this moment for her. She had work extremely hard to put all of this together, to have this moment together alone with the commander. If someone, anyone, were to come and take this away from her she didn't know what she would do, just that it would be rather violent.

So she did her best to remain quite, it was a difficult undertaking but she would endure it for the commander. She would stifle every satisfied moan, every needy gasp, even the occasional groan.

 _Wait groaning?_

* * *

John Shepard liked to believe he was a capable soldier, able to deduce his current situation and quickly take control of it. That did not seem to be happening for him now.

The first thing that hit him was the extreme confusion. He was still slightly out of it but he could feel that he was on top of a mattress, his mattress to be more specific. How he had ended up here was beyond him, last he remembered he was in the conference room of the ship, finishing a meeting with the crew and linking minds with Liara. The thought of linking minds brought forth unwelcome memories and a even more unwelcome pain in his forehead. He quickly rubbed the top of his head with his right hand to help alleviate the growing discomfort, or at least attempted to. For some reason his hand refused to move a inch.

 _What the hell?_

The commander tried moving his hand again but still nothing, suddenly he noticed a binding keeping his wrist firmly tied to his bedpost. A quick glance to the left confirmed his theory that both of his hands were in this state.

 _Okay I'm fairly confident I didn't decide to take a nap after binding both of my hands to my bed._

He then noticed that for some reason his room seemed alot colder than usual and quickly deduced why.

 _And I know I don't like to sleep nude so what the hell is going on here?_

Suddenly he noticed an extremely different feeling, assaulting a very different part of his body. He lifted his head with a groan to examine exactly what was going on. What he saw was a pair of shining orbs hidden behind a visor staring directly into his eyes, mere centimeters away from his face.

"Good morning John"a voice emitted from behind the visor "I've been waiting for this."

Shepard was more than slightly surprised to find Tali straddling his bare form,rubbing herself against him, and quickly tried to form a coherent sentence to voice said confusion.

"Wha-Tali?" This was proving to be a difficult task, hundreds of questions struggled for dominance in Shepard's mind.

 _What Is going on? Why am I nude? Why are you here? Why are you here **DRY HUMPING ME?!**_

"Tali what the hell is going on? What are you doing?" Shepard had given up on trying to find one question to start off with and simply began letting them all flood out "Why are my hands tied? What did you do?" He just let the questions gush from his mouth, desperate to find some answers to the absolutely bizarre situation he was in.

A small chuckle came from the Quarian resting on top of him.

 _She thinks this is funny?_

Anger was quickly building up in the commander, anger he was more than happy to voice "Tali I don't know what the hell is going on but I assure you it is no laughing matter"He said with as much spite as he could. Tali didn't speak but rather simply sat up straight. Further angered by the lack of response the commander continued his rant "I don't know what the hell you were thinking but I order you to unite my hands **now**!" Still no words from Tali, instead she began to move her hands up towards her face-plate and all of the anger in Shepard was replaced with curiosity and...while he'd hate to admit it worry. "Tali? What are you doing? still no response and her hands had already reached the sides of her helmet."Say something!" Suddenly Shepard heard a slight hiss and panic truly began to set in. He had learnt why Quarians lived in those suits and no matter how he may feel about the Quarian in-front of him at this moment he sure as hell didn't want her to risk death. "Tali wait! don't ta-" in the middle of his request to stop her from taking of her visor he noticed the deed was already done. Words could not be formed anymore, he was far to busy studying every detail of her face, the grayish tint of her skin, the thin raven hair that draped behind her, but most captivating were her eyes. He knew there must have been some luminous property to her eyes, that much was visible with the visor on, but when they were uncovered they had a certain...allure to them, something that made him lose his sense of reason.

 _She...She's_ _beautiful_

He desperately tried to shake these thoughts from his head, no matter how perfect she may be it did not excuse this situation. He fully intended on letting her know this "T-Tali this doesn't change anything, you need to untie me no-" any further protest was quickly cut off as Tali suddenly lunged at the commander. Her mouth found his and quickly latched on, with no intent on letting go. Shortly afterwords the commander felt something invading his mouth, something filled with an excessive amount of energy. He tried his hardest to pull his head back but suddenly felt a small nip at the edge of his tongue and was quickly pulled back in. With no escape route clearly visible the commander simply let his tongue hang limp in his mouth, allowing Tali to have free reign. Nothing inside of the commanders mouth was spared from Tali's needy exploration, her tongue caressed and prodded every single piece of flesh it could find and every single drip of saliva he could spare was eagerly stolen by Tali. After what felt like an hour Tali finally released the iron hold she had on his mouth, most likely from a need of oxygen, and hovered just over the commanders face. Without ever breaking eye contact she finally spoke

"So many questions" Her hot breath tickled Shepard's face as she spoke "Just give me Time and I'll answer them all" She gave another quick, but still passionate kiss before speaking "First you asked What's going on, well that's simple" another kiss interrupted her sentence "I'm proving my love" She moved her head slightly down and kissed his neck. "Why are your hands tied? Because no one is going to take this moment away from us, not even you"She kissed his neck again before moving her head slightly down. Shepard watched in disbelieve as Tali trailed lower until she was just over his chest and stuck out her tongue. She pressed her tongue against his skin and began to move slowly down. Shepard had a vague idea where this was leading but couldn't believe it. Tali, the sweet naive Quarian engineer he had saved on the citadel was...was taking him, having her way with him. Desperately he spoke, hoping that he was wrong, that there was some form of misunderstanding "T-Tali wait, what are you doing?" Tali had stopped her slow descent to answer "You're mine John, every single part of you is mine" she continued further down until she had reached his naval "I'm going to taste you John" Shepard watched in shock as Tali slid down further yet, now with her mouth hovering just over his member. "Every part" she whispered and the hot breath from her mouth sent a shiver coursing through the commanders body. A small smile broke put on Tali's face as she noticed the effect her actions were having on the commander "Enjoying yourself John?" She lowered her lips and planted a small kiss on the tip of his member causing Shepard to grimace. Using the commanders reaction as an answer she continued to speak "You have no idea how much it pleases me to know I bring you pleasure John and I'm enjoying this immensely as well but" she slowly licked the side of his member, coating it with a thin layer of her saliva "This is only the beginning" she slowly trailed her tongue across the rest of his member, only stopping when it was fully covered with saliva. She licked her lips and grinned "this is just the start of a long night together." seeing no reason to further delay she slowly placed her lips on the tip of his member and slowly lowered herself down,taking in as much as it as she could. She felt Shepard's entire body tense from the sensation and took pride in the fact that she must have been doing something right.

 _That's a relief_ because _I have no idea what I'm doing,_ Tali nervously thought to herself. She wanted this night to be something to remember for Shepard, or more precisely, wanted it burned into his mind never to be forgotten. Her inexperience in this type of thing made her worry that she wouldn't be able to please him, that he wouldn't be captivated by her. She willed herself on however, she would **not** lose Shepard. She simply did whatever her heart screamed at her to do at that moment abandoning all of the "what ifs" that normally troubled herself and right now her heart was telling her to suck him dry. She was more than happy to comply and began to swirl her tongue around him as she bobbed her head. Shepard could be heard grunting and breathing heavily the whole time, a sign that he was enjoying himself. Tali's heart swelled knowing that Shepard was enjoying this but something still bothered her. She wanted to please him, to put his desires before hers, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. His taste was simply intoxicating and Tali struggled to not lose herself in it.

 _What the hell has gotten into her?_ Shepard thought and even tried to say but the words died in his mouth as he shuddered in pleasure from Tali's continued assault. He was no stranger to this type of thing but something was different about her. He couldn't really explain it but it was like she wasn't even really focusing on getting him to release as women in the past had done. No instead it felt like she was...actually trying to enjoy the flavor, savoring his member like it was some delicacy. He felt his release approaching all the same however and choked out a warning for Tali "T-Tali I'm about to c-" suddenly Tali's eyes widened and her motions stopped. Shepard hated to admit it but the fact that she stopped greatly annoyed him and he tried his best to suggest it without flat out saying he was enjoying himself "Tali? is something wrong?" Tali raised her head and stared into his eyes again as she spoke "Wrong hole."

 _What?_ "I-I'm not sure I follow" Shepard stuttered out. Suddenly small hissing noises could be heard while Tali pulled at pieces of her suit. "Believe me John I wanted to taste you but" slowly but surely her suit was stripped "I want to feel you inside me even more" She slid the main section of her suit which covered her upper body slowly down and revealed her full bare self to Shepard. Shepard couldn't help but stare, everything about her petite form captivated him. The grey smooth skin devoid of any body hair,her small and perky breast, and most of all her opening which hovered just over his member. "I can't take it anymore I need you to take me, to be my first" Tali whined desperately.

 _First? This is how she wants her first time to be like?_ "Tali wait" Shepard said in a calm,steady voice that he had not had since he had woken up. "This...this isn't right"He sighed as he saw Tali looking at him with a "I don't really care" look and to be fair she had already established that she wasn't above forcing this upon him, but for it to be her first time...it just didn't sit right with Shepard. "No not the whole sedating me thing, that goes without saying of course" he spoke in softer tone hoping that he may be able to get out of this situation somehow "I meant...You're first time should...should be something special, not well" he glanced around a bit "this"

Tali smiled and even giggled a little "John you really do care about me don't you?"

 _To be honest I'd just rather not be raped_ "Of course I do Tali. I don't want you to throw away something so precious" Shepard had experience in getting out of tight situations by using honeyed words before and this time would be no different "Just...just give me some time and I'll...I'll give you a proper first time" _now to add some good old fashion Shepard humor_ "candles and all."

Tali practically emitted happiness as she spoke "I love you John and I really appreciate you putting in so much thought into whats best for me" She began to stumble over her words slightly "a-and you mean it don't you, a-about the first time" she blushed "You'll really...You'll really do that for me?"

 _Hook line and sinker_ "Of course Tali just take off these bindings and we can forget about all this, no hard feelings."

Tali continued to smile and her voice was just as overjoyed as she spoke.

"I refuse."

 _huh?_ Suddenly with the force that could only come from one depraved from touch for their whole life, Tali pushed herself all of the way down until her hips meet with Shepard's. A hiss of pain could be heard from Tali and she did not move,she merely sat on his lap with him buried inside her. Either from worry that Tali was extremely hurt or from impatience Shepard spoke "Tali you...are you hurt?" Still no words from Tali she merely sat there eyes wide and mouth agape. Her eyes seemed to dim slightly and her gaze seemed to focus on nothing in particular before she spoke again "Amazing" She started to slowly move her hips up and down, fully relishing the feeling of him inside her. Talking became increasingly difficult for Tali but she manged to string together a few sentences between moans of ecstasy"It's...it's amazing, this feeling, this is what I've longed for". Her movement increased in force and speed as she sought out even more pleasure "Far...far better than my countless dreams, fantasies can't even compare John."

 _Countless dreams? what the hell?_ "Tali...how long have you thought about" Tali's inner walls battered against his sense of reason and he gritted his teeth to hold on to any decency he had "about this?" Without ever slowing down Tali panted out her response "ever since I meet you in that alley John, keelah I've wanted this for so long" She smiled as she spoke "Ever since you've saved my life, ever since you treated me so kindly, ever since you treated me as a equal"Her eyes glazed over slightly as she continued to list reasons why she thought of this so much "Ever since you looked at me, ever since you allowed me to be by your side, Ever since you allowed me to share the same oxygen as you."

Fairly disturbed by Tali's sudden outburst Shepard struggled to retain his relativity calm exterior "Tha-that's really flattering Tali but" he again winced as Tali used her seemingly endless stamina to continue to assault him "I- I don't think I feel the same way" suddenly her monitions stopped and her head hung low, unable to determine what expression she was making Shepard assumed she was simply taken aback and used the opportunity to try and talk some sense into her "Tali you may not want to hear this but this, this isn't love" He really didn't want to say what it truly was but felt he had no choice "this is rape Tali, and I can assure you I don't want this" he braced himself for whatever outburst Tali was sure to unleash upon him at any moment. Would she become enraged and attack him? Would she bawl her eyes out? He wasn't sure but he'd do his best to prepare himself, mentally and physically. Then he heard something emitting from Tali, not a weak sob or low growl but rather a single word. "Liar" and suddenly her hips resumed their frantic up and down motion. Tali was practically delirious as she spoke "You love me, you have to love me" she leaned down and suddenly grabbed onto the sides of Shepard's head and forced him to stare into his eyes "You don't get to say no to my feelings" her head hovered just over Shepard's as she continued to to stare into his eyes while speaking "I've lost too much in this life, I **will not** lose you" she leaned further and whispered directly into his ear "I've been honest with you so how about you stop lying" Shepard winced at the feeling of Tali's hot breath entering directly into his ear as she continued to speak. "You know this isn't rape, you enjoy this don't you? I make you happy don't I?" Shepard tried to force out a sentence, some form of denial "Th-that's not true" Tali calmy spoke and easily shattered Shepard's facade of unwillingness.

"Then why have you been trying to restrain your voice?"Shepard tried to come up with some form of excuse but before he could even begin a sentence Tali continued "I've been holding back my voice this whole time, keelah I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs when you finally entered me, but these walls are no where near sound proof." she casually licked his ear slightly "and you know that" Shepard knew she was right, ever since he saw her face his mind raced with the possibilities of what was about to happen. He hated to admit that he was eager for her to continue her assault. He laid there, defeated as Tali continued to talk "You could have called for help at anytime, but you didn't."

 _Shut up._

"You wanted this Shepard, ever since you first saw me right?"

Rage began to build inside Shepard and he used this rage to amplify the force of which he used to pull at his restraints. Tali, too preoccupied with her delirious ranting, failed to notice that the makeshift bindings were nearing their breaking point. "You went out of your way talking to other women and melding minds to make me jealous right? to force me to do this right?"

"Shut up" suddenly the restraints around Shepard's wrists snapped and his hand's lunged for Tali. Tali let out a small yelp of panic before realizing just where his hands rested. His hand's had grasped tightly on to Tali's hips with force that made Tali wince. She dared to look into his eyes as she spoke "J-John?". Suddenly his hands pulled her down, forcing his member even deeper then it had ever reached before. Tali attempted to scream in pleasure but her mouth was soon covered by Shepard's who pulled her into a deep kiss. Tali moaned into his mouth as she felt herself being stretched out by the ruthless assault of Shepard's member. Suddenly Shepard released the hold he had on her mouth and spoke "Enough talking, you've made your point" he moved on his hands away from her waist and began to fondle her right breast. "Yeah I want this" he pushed his hips up at the same time his hand pulled Tali down "happy now?" Tali was more than happy, she was simply ecstatic "keelah John YES! this is all I've ever wanted!" her arms flew around Shepard in an attempt to pull him even closer "Take me, I'm yours so please take me!"

Shepard looked deep into her eyes as he continued to pound away at her tight opening. He knew this wrong, wrong on so many levels but he just didn't care anymore. He only cared about the quarian woman infront of him in this moment, only cared about making her know that he wasn't just going to be her toy. He moved the hand that was caressing her breast to the back of her head and pulled her in for another kiss, one she eagerly accepted. How could he help himself? Everything about her was intoxicating, the way she eagerly sought out his tongue as their mouths connected, the way her inner walls clung to his member as if trying to prevent him from leaving, the way she he maintained that loving gaze in her eyes through out the whole time, everything about her captivated him. How could he help himself from loving this.

Suddenly He felt his release approaching and with some effort pulled his mouth away from Tali's to warn her. "Tali I'm about to" Suddenly Her eyes shot wide open again but instead of pulling away as she did the last time she quickly pulled herself even closer and locked her legs behind Shepard, eliminating any chance of escape. "Do it! Cum inside me John!" Unable to hold back any longer Shepard gritted his teeth as he shot his load directly into Tali's womb. He suddenly felt Tali's whole body tense up in his arms and more alarmingly he suddenly felt Tali's teeth on his neck as she screamed directly into him. After a few moments her body eased up and Shepard removed himself from her and collapsed on his bed. Tali followed soon after and quickly cuddled up as close as possible to him. Through heavy breaths Tali managed a sentence "Thank you John." Shepard looked at her in confusion"for what?" She nuzzled her head into his chest "for a proper first time" A small chuckle emitted from Shepard "Of course, now if you don't mind I'd like some sleep. for some reason all of my energy seems to have left me" Tali giggled before she began to talk, strangely enough nervously "J-John? if...if it's not to much of a bother could I...could I stay here?" Shepard sighed before answering "You really are something else Tali, asking if it's alright to sleep in my bed after what we just did" Tali didn't ease up at all "does...does that mean?" Shepard chuckled "yes Tali you can stay, now try to get some sleep." Tali was overjoyed as she spoke "Thank You John! You have no idea how much this means to me, to be able to spend the night next to, breathing in youur scent, feeling-" Shepard cut her off before she could go on another rant "Tali. Sleep please" He heard a small huff of dissapointment come from her before she finally obyed his orders and soon he heard snoring coming from her.

 _Cute snore._ With Tali fast asleep beside him the commander focused on all of the questions this night at brought up

 _What does this mean for us?  
What will our life be like from now on?_

Shepard felt his eyes begin to become heavy and planned on falling asleep soon but as he glanced down casually another question burned to the forefront of his mind

 _Why'd she leave my socks on?_

Feeling to tired to bother trying to find the answers to all of these questions he shut his eyes and quickly fell asleep with Tali right beside him. He may not have been sure what all of this meant, but he was sure of one thing.

He couldn't help himself from loving it, From loving her.

* * *

Ending note- My first smut and not only is it rape but I also forced a JoJo's Bizarre adventure reference in there

Sorry mom.


	5. Aftermath pt1

Authors's notes- It may be a bit before the next smut scene(possibly before Ilos)so if that's the type of thing you're looking for with this story you may have to wait a bit(or maybe not, I'm easily persuaded). Anyway I also wanted to say that all favorites,follows, and reviews are greatly appreciated and any feedback really helps with the writing of this story.

* * *

Thoughts of the previous night with Tali flooded the commanders mind as he slowly began to awake from quite possibly the best sleep he'd had for years. Sure it may have started off in way that he wouldn't necessarily agree with but the end result was rather enjoyable. Tali laying right by his side, still fully nude, caused some of the more carnal memories to rush in and he felt a small smile tugging at his lips. He was content to lay here for a while longer than he normally would for many reasons. Feeling her soft skin pressed against his,gazing at her beautiful face, and feeling the slight warmth emitting from her body all filled him with pleasure. He sighed and nestled even closer to Tali intending to make the most out of this experience before something inevitably came along and ruined it. The warmth coming from her flowed through him and brought him a very welcomed sense of comfort.

 _So Warm, so amazingly warm_ The commander blissfully thought to himself. _Really warm as a matter of fact_ The commander thought with a slowly growing sense of clarity

Suddenly he felt Tali begin to stir next to him and with a fair bit of excitement he began to speak, eager to give her a warm welcoming to this new day. "Morning sleepy how are you do-" suddenly He heard a very loud noise come from Tali and felt a very strange substance spray across his face. Shocked by the sudden turn of events the commander's face was frozen in its smiling state as the wheels in his mind began to process what exactly just happened.

 _This isn't some quarian morning ritual is it?  
Wait, Quarian...Outside of suit...Very warm body_

An extremely croaky voice called out for the commander as his mind, apparently not at it's peak performance in the morning hours, continued to piece together the parts of the puzzle "J-John...Sickbay...please" another noise,one that the commander finally managed to identify as a sneeze, came and with it more mucus came sailing towards the commander. Maybe the idea of being showered in mucus would bring forward a strong sense of disgust but at this moment only one thing dominated the commander's mind, panic or rather **extreme panic**.

He shot up from the bed and fumbled around as all of the current problems competed for his attention in his mind. Tali was sick, to what degree he didn't know. She was still naked and he had absolutely no idea how he was going to get her back in her suit. How would he even explain how she got sick, or better yet how he stumbled across a sick Tali when he was supposed to be unconscious and alone in his room? He figured the easiest place to start was to get dressed as quickly as possible and searched his room for his clothing. He found his underwear on the far side of the room, His pants near his bed with the zipper nothing but a shred of metal that vaguely represented it's former self, and his shirt...well he assumed that was the shreds of cloth that was scattered around the bed.

Even in this situation he couldn't help but shoot a exasperated glance at Tali and mouth the word "really" Tali shrunk slightly under her gaze and weakly mouthed "sorry". He would have to have serious talk about the destruction of property at some time but now was not that time. He fumbled around to locate the different components of Tali' suit, which infuriatingly were all in perfect condition, and plop them in front of Tali. He quickly told her to "do the suit put on thingy" as he,without thinking, used his bed's sheets to wipe the mucus from his face. Regret instantly hit commander as he noticed that the sheet was far from clean. He prayed to whatever higher power who could hear him that the dampness of the sheets came from sweat. Tali,after slightly giggling at his predicament, was making some progress with putting back on her suit. Sighing in defeat Shepard decided to pick up a few shreds of former-shirt and wiped his face with that. A few more moments passed before Tali, with some futile attempts of assistance from Shepard, was finally back in her full suit. Shepard quickly rushed to the door, expecting it to automatically open as it usually does, before promptly slamming his face into the still closed door.

Tali winced as she pulled up her omi-tool and began to type "S-sorry about that John" she weakly croaked out "should be unlocked now". Shepard sighed in annoyance,mostly towards himself, and turned his head to speak to Tali as the door opened "We are going to have to have a serious talk about your actions last night...you cute little devil"

"And I'd just love to be a third wheel in that conversation" a voice came from in front of Shepard. Shepard mentally screamed as he easily figured out who exactly was talking to him, only one person could speak with so much smugness.

"Garrus...how are you doing this morning?" Shepard asked without any real interest on how the Turian in front of him was currently doing. He really just wanted to avoid any questions about why exactly he was leaving his quarters early in the morning with a very weak in the legs Tali.

"Oh I was doing fine, maybe a little bored, but still fine" Garrus responded normally before his voice took an almost sinister tone "but as luck would have it I've found something really interesting to take my mind off the boredom"

"I'd love to hear all about it Garrus, but later. Right now I need to get Tali to the sick-bay" Shepard tried to inch him and Tali by Garrus, fully hoping that would be the end of the conversation

"Oh really?" Garrus asked with mock surprise "and how exactly did she end up sick? suit seems perfectly fine to me" he began to follow the two as they made their way to the sick bay "I'm no expert but I heard that those suits keep out all pathogens so the only way she could have gotten infected by something is if there was a rip or..."

Shepard continued to make his way to the sick-bay trying his best to ignore the conversation turned investigation. He would notice Tali groan occasionally, from annoyance or sickness he couldn't tell

"or her suit must have come off" Garrus stated plainly "But what exactly would require taking her suit off?" he leaned in slightly and whispered to Shepard as if he was secretly plotting "any ideas commander...or do you prefer to be called John now?"

Shepard tensed up at the usage of his first name and from the relentless questions from Garrus "A-as your superior officer I won't stand for such Abuse from a subordinate, c-cease your questioning"

Either pretending to not notice the commander's order or simply not caring Garrus continued "And Tali you seem to have some serious trouble walking...are you really that sick or did something else happen?"

"I said cease you're questioning Vakarian" Shepard tried to sound as threatening and controlling as he could but it came out as nervous and almost pleading

Surprisingly enough Garrus seemed to relent "Okay boss I understand, this is all very serious, no time for my questioning" He moved to help the commander with getting Tali to Dr. Chakwas. Taken aback by Garrus's sudden compliance the commander sighed and muttered a "thanks" before finishing the short trip between his cabin and the sick-bay. The door to the sick-bay opened to reveal a fairly surprised Dr. Chakwas.

"Commander what's going on? Are you suffering some effects from the mind meld?" the doctor asked as soon as they entered the room

 _Mind meld?_ The commander thought for a second before jumping to the conclusion that everyone else must have thought that his sudden collapse was caused by the mind meld rather than the sickly Quarian in his arms

"err no I'm here because of Tali, she seems to be sick." He cleared his throat and muttered "for reasons unknown" before he finished his sentence "and I need you to look after her for a bit, make sure she's alright" The commander hoped that the sudden surprise of 3 people barging into her quarters would keep the doctor from asking about the details.

"I...I understand commander just set her on that bed over there and I'll do my best...although I have no idea what exactly I'm treating here" The doctor responded, much to Shepard's appreciation. He never loved just how much she focused on her job until now as it avoided alot of questions that he'd rather not answer.

Shepard sighed in relief and set Tali on the bed "You'll be fine, you're in capable hands now" Shepard attempted to reassure Tali. He rubbed her hand in a supportive manner and spoke "Hope you feel better soon Tali" Unnoticed to the Doctor or Garrus he winked and mouthed "so I can get you sick again". He felt Tali tense up a bit before she eased up again and spoke "I'll make sure to get better soon John, and I expect you to get me sick again as soon as I do"she said in a seductive tone

Panic surged through the commander again as he suffered a slight mental breakdown from what Tali just said.

 _Why would she say that out loud? Does she not know what subtlety is? Why would you do this to me?_

He heard a mocking laugh come from behind him "Oh is that so?" Garrus quipped, finding seemingly endless joy in the commander's suffering.

The commander's whole body stiffened up and he slowly turned around and spoke, calmly and slowly almost like a robot "Dr. Chakwas I trust you'll be able to take care of her without any further assistance from me, I should go"

He walked calmly, if slightly hurried, and excited the sick-bay. He continued to walk toward's his cabin, ignoring when Kaidan asked him how he was doing, and after what felt like an eterntity of walking entered his cabin and sat down on his bed.

 _This is not good, this is totally not good._ Shepard thought as soon as he confirmed he was alone, dropping his calm and collected facade. He had no idea why Tali would reveal their night time activities when the implications behind them were less than pleasant. It wasn't that he minded the crew knowing about his relationship with Tali but he wasn't sure that he could even call what they had a relationship. He was genuinely worried about Tali, what would everyone think of her when they figured out what she did? He wanted to at least take things slowly, figure out where they stood and even come up with a falsified beginning to their relationship, one that didn't involve drugging and raping preferably. She had ruined that however, for reason's he would probably never understand and unless he came up with something fast everyone would know the truth behind last night.

In the middle of his musing the door to his cabin opened and a very smug tone filled his room "Now seem's like a more appropriate time for my questions"

The commander groaned because of the Turian in-front of him and because of his own foolishness for not locking his door. "Is it normal in the Turian military for subordinates to barge into their commander's quarters unannounced Vakarian?"

"No but it's perfectly normal for a friend to come and check on his friend" Garrus retorted before grabbing a nearby chair and sitting down in-front of Shepard "And it's even more common for a friend to ask his friend about all of the details of an...interesting night"

The commander couldn't help but slightly smirk. It was true he considered Garrus to be a friend and he was never the overly strict type when it came to military procedures but he still couldn't give him the exact details, it would be to dangerous for Tali. He would have to play it cool, act like he played the part of a suave and seducing commander who got his hands on a naive Quarian girl eager for excitement. He was sure that he would come off as a total scumbag to some but this was bigger than his reputation, this was for her

He let his smirk grow and let in a bit of smugness seep into his own voice before speaking "Why's that? Looking for some tips on how to score some exotic flavors?"

Garrus rolled his eyes "oh please commander we both know you didn't take the lead last night so you can drop the suave act"

"Oh is that so? And how exactly would you know I didn't just put the moves on Tali? Maybe you're just a bit jealous because you only have finesse in sniping" Shepard practically looked down on Garrus as he spoke "I on the other hand happen to have a wide set of skills"

"Shame dancing isn't in that set of skills" Garrus replied without missing a beat

If there was one thing Shepard was defensive about it was his dancing skills, the whole galaxy be damn the "Shepard Shuffle" was a technique not to be trifled with. Garrus noticed Shepard tense up at the mentioning of his dancing and quickly changed the conversation back to it's intended course.

"But that's beside the point, I know you didn't take the lead because I told Tali to stop hiding her feelings and get on with actually doing something with them."

Shepard was slightly taken aback by the sudden confession from Garrus and it showed in his word's "W-what?"

Garrus shrugged his shoulder's "Shepard you're about the densest person I know so I told Tali that subtle hints about her affection wouldn't be enough, told her to take a more direct route"

Shepard felt slightly annoyed but at the same time relieved. Now that he knew Garrus had played a part in last night he would have one less person to hide it from. Still he wouldn't just let him off the hook for instructing Tali to force herself on him

"Direct route? Couldn't you have picked something a little less Direct than rape?" Shepard asked vehemently

The smug smirk quickly faded from Garrus's face and his eyes slightly widened "She did what?"

 _huh? why is he acting like...  
he did know right?_

Shepard quickly realized from Garrus's reaction that he did not in fact know about the exact details of Tali's "more direct route"

"You...you didn't tell her to do that did you"

Garrus was exasperated "Spirits Shepard are you serious?"he shot up from his chair "Why the hell would I tell her to rape you?"

Shepard also got up from the sitting position on his bed "I don't know you said you told her to be more direct and-"

"A simple confession is what I had in mind!" Garrus quietly shouted

"Well she technically confessed her feelings to me..."

"Shepard this isn't a joke...are you...are you all right?" Garrus asked with genuine concern for Shepard. Sure he was a smug and condescending bastard but when it came down to it he really was a true friend and Shepard greatly appreciated that.

"I'm fine no, lasting damage done" Shepard rubbed his neck, he really wasn't sure if he should say the next thing that was on his mind "and I...kinda...enjoyed it"

Garrus stared at Shepard with an extremely confused face "You what?"

"Well putting the whole rape thing aside, which I do **not** approve of, it was...nice"

Garrus continued to stare at Shepard with the same face "Shepard...did she...mind-break you?"

The term "mind-break" made Shepard's sense of pride take a heavy blow and he quickly jumped to his own defense "Absolutely not! I'll have you know that once I broke from my bindings I took full control of the situation!"

"Took full contr- What?" Garrus asked in disbelief "Shepard she probably wanted you to-" he quickly raised his hands and did air quotations "take full control of the situation"

The logic behind that statement made Shepard second guess himself for a second but he would not falter. Mind-break or not he cared about Tali. "I can assure you I wanted it just as bad as she did Tali"

"If you wanted it than it's not rape Shepard"

"I... I just didn't like the way it started off but I wanted it too"

"And how exactly did it start off? How exactly did she manage to get you in such a compromising position?"

 _oh this is going to be fun to explain_ "she...put me to sleep"

Garrus narrowed his eyes "put you to sleep?"

Shepard took a big breath "she...drugged me"

A full minute passed as both men stood there staring at each other, the atmosphere was heavy and the silence was oppressive.

Garrus sighed before breaking the silence "I understand"

Shepard was surprised to find his friend could be so understanding "you do?"

"Of course Stockholm Syndrome is a very serious mental condition, I shouldn't make fun of you for it"

Any admiration for his friend's understanding quickly vanished from Shepard's mind "Thank you for your understanding and support Garrus" Shepard sarcastically said.

Garrus smirked "If you want to have an extremely unhealthy relationship that's your business but..." Garrus dropped the smirk and spoke and a sincere tone, one full of support "if you ever do need help I'm here for you Shepard"

Shepard grinned at Garrus's promise of support "Well that's good to hear because actually I could use some a little assistance"

"Well that didn't take long"

"I like to make sure people hold up their promises ASAP, now I need some help coming up with a story for last night"

Garrus seemed confused for a little before realization hit him "Ah I understand,Don't suppose it would be a good idea to tell everyone you got dominated by a tiny Quarian"

Shepard hated the fact that Garrus still insisted on the fact that he was broken by Tali, and even more so hated the fact that there may be a tiny shred of truth behind that claim. "Details about last night don't matter Garrus" Shepard said to steer the conversation away from damaging his pride

"Well unless you forgot Shepard I wasn't the one to come out with a noticeable limp from your cabin. You're gonna need to talk to Tali about making up a story"

"How helpful of you Garrus" Shepard said with a slight amount of venom in his voice

"Shepard do you honestly think it would be a good idea to come up with a story for last night without any input from the other person involved? You need to go talk to Tali before it's too late"

Shepard was confused by Garrus's last statement "Too late, too late for what?"

"Too late to stop Tali from informing all of the other woman on the ship of her latest conquest" Garrus spoke with increasing urgency "And need I remind you Dr. T'soni made her residence right behind the sick-bay?"

"She...she wouldn't do that would she?" Shepard said with a slight amount of worry in his voice

Thoughts of what Tali nearly did to Shiala from Ferros came up in Garrus's mind "Shepard trust me, she will do exactly that. Now that she has you she is going to want to let everyone know it, and I don't think she's going to be as much as a stickler for details as you."

Shepard could just imagine how a conversation between Tali and Liara would play out, and he preferred to leave it as i figment of imagination. Rushing towards the door of his cabin he thanked Garrus for his insight

He practically sprinted to the sick-bay, hoping that the short amount of time he spent talking to Garrus wasn't enough time for Tali to do anything drastic

The door to the sick-bay opened to reveal Tali, still on the bed, talking excitedly to Liara who must have heard the commotion for earlier and came out of curiosity. Dr Chakwas was currently at her desk, apparently to busy with her work to take any particular notice to the conversation happening in the same room as her. Once Shepard entered however Tali and Liara's conversation came to a halt and both turned to face him. Liara had a almost shell-shocked face and While her face-plate concealed her facial expression the tone of her voice conveyed Tali's emotions perfectly.

"John we were just talking about you" Tali spoke in the same haunting tone as last night. "or rather about **us** "


	6. Aftermath pt2

Author's notes- Last chapter was actually fairly experimental, which may be why it wasn't exactly the most interesting or enjoyable. Ever since the start of this story I felt like characters other than Shepard and Tali were getting the short end of the stick so I was hoping to find some way to have them more involved with the story. Garrus is going to be the best friend we all know and love, supporting and making fun of Shepard's deranged romance and Liara is going to be kind of timid and caring... which may change as the story progresses like it did in the game series. However this is still, by it very core, a Tali/Shepard story so many other characters will barely be a footnote in this story and the general story of mass effect is also going to be more of a background thing.

Also that chapter was pretty hard for me to write and I might change the second category of this story to Drama

* * *

"We were just talking you, or rather **us** "

Shepard froze as quite possibly the worst words possible came out of Tali's mouth. Judging by the expression on Liara's face Garrus's assumption of what Tali would do wasn't too far off. He remembered that Liara wouldn't be the only person that would have been forced to listen to Tali's deranged story time and quickly glanced around the room and spotted Dr. Chakwas. Her facial expression was no where near as damaged as Liara's but there was still a noticeable amount of shock. This was not a situation the commander wanted to deal with so early in the morning, or rather at all and he felt less than pleasant feelings for Tali begin to brew inside of him for forcing him in this situation. That talk he had planned to have with her later on would be a whole lot less friendly and civil than he had originally intended, but that would have to wait right now he had to do damage control.

"Doctor Chakwas I would expect you know what Doctor-patient confidentiality is?" He asked in a very leveled tone, one that barely expressed the annoyance and anger he currently felt.

"I...Of course commander" The doctor replied slightly confused by the seemingly random question.

"Excellent, not a single word of what you heard will reach the rest of the crew, now got take a bit of a break, mingle with the crew or whatever just do it out of the sick-bay"

"I can't do that sir, a crew member could walk in anyti-"The doctor began to explain why she couldn't leave her post, most likely a logical reason, but Shepard didn't really care about logic at the moment

"I insist" The commander cut her off, his tone and expression conveying that he wasn't really suggesting for her to leave

Suddenly the voice he wanted to hear least spoke up "John why not let her tell the crew, I want them to know, want them to know you're mine" Tali happily cooed

The commander felt his jaw tighten up at her claim of possession over him, it seemed that Garrus' wasn't alone in his believe that he had been 'Dominated and broken by a sickly Quarian.' He was going to lay this brief to rest now however

"You" He said with a very noticeable amount of venom while he pointed a finger at Tali "You don't say another damn word" He noticed Tali visibly tense up at his words and briefly wondered if that was a bit too much. He quickly defended his own actions in his mind however.

 _Like hell that was too much, if anything that wasn't enough  
_ _I'll save the rest for later, because right now I got to unstir all the shit she stirred up_

He saw Tali quickly glance down, seemingly wanting to avoid his burning gaze as she nervously twirled her thumbs. He noticed that the Doctor was still lingering which only further increased his annoyance "Doctor is there some reason you're still here?" He rhetorically asked

Doctor Chakwas quickly shook her head, seemingly getting the message "N-no commander I was just on my way out" She quickly headed for the door and was about to leave before the commander addressed her again.

"Doctor Chakwas, not a single word" He confirmed that his earlier order would be followed to the letter.

"Of course commander" She hastily said before finally exiting the sick-bay

He turned his attention back to the other occupants in the room. He noticed that Tali was looking at him while his back was towards her but she quickly looked down again when his attention was on her.

"Liara return to to your quarters, I'll be there in just a moment" He intensified his glare on Tali and he could have sworn he saw her whole body trembeling "I just have a few things to say to **her** " He purposely but more intensity on the last word to further express his current disdain for her.

Liara was far quicker in following his orders than the doctor and quickly moved to the back room with only a quick "yes commander" as her answer.

With the two of them finally being the only ones remaining in the room he quickly walked beside Tali

She tried to speak first, her voice trembling and weak "J-John I-"

Her attempt at speech was quickly cut off however "Don't" Shepard said with noticeable anger. He heard a slight whimper come from Tali but he didn't really care. "I'm going to ask you a question and you're going to answer, that's it"

Tali nodded hastily while she continued to avoid eye contact. Shepard had to admit that a small part of him hated seeing Tali act so...broken but he would ignore that part of him for now. "What did you tell them?" he said with no trace of gentleness in his voice.

Tali's voice was uneven as she spoke "I...I told them that we were together"

Shepard spoke with no apparent care for her feelings "A lie of course, what else?"

He heard a very pained gasp come from Tali and as she continued to speak her voice seemed to be on the verge of breaking "I...I told them we m-made love to cement our...our new" she seemed to struggle with her next word as her speaking was on the verge of breaking down to mere sobbing "Our new life together" she finally choked out.

If the commander was feeling anything for Tali's current state he didn't show it "Wouldn't call what you did to me lovemaking, now get to the point." He harshly said "Did you tell them that you drugged me?"

He waited patiently as Tali finally broke down and weakly sobbed on the bed as she curled up, his patience quickly faded however "Did you tell them you drugged me?!" he angrily whispered through clenched teeth.

He heard a very weak whisper come from Tali before she resumed her sobbing "You'll have to say that again" he clarified for her "I don't exactly speak inaudible sobbing"

It seemed to take everything in Tali for her to choke out her answer "No" she finally looked him in the eyes "I couldn't tell them that I...I couldn't get you to notice my feelings with out resorting to such pathetic means" she said with shame, although the shame was for all the wrong reasons.

He pulled his head back in confusion and his brows furrowed

 _Not exactly the best reasoning behind not telling them but I suppose the end result is still nice_

He quickly corrected his facial expression, recovering from the pleasant surprise that she didn't tell them about her criminal activities from last night. It would be alot easier to explain last night now...easier to defend her now. "Good, now I have to go speak to Liara, fix any misunderstandings you might have caused" He plainly said before making his way to the back door that lead to Liara's room, he had almost reached the door when Suddenly Tali called out for him

"J-John I-" she still struggled with forming sentences as her breathing was uneven from her sobbing "I'm sorry p-please don't hate me" she finally managed to sputter out.

Shepard stopped walking towards the door when he heard Tali's plea for forgiveness. He didn't want her to know that he had really felt something from that, that he winced when he heard her weak voice call out for him. "Tali from now on" he breathed in and quickly restored his stony facial expression before turning around to face her again "Address me only as commander"

 _That's too much, I don't have to go that far, She doesn't deserve this  
_ _No...this has to be done_

He saw the life practically drain from Tali as she slumped down into the mattress she was laying on, not even sobbing anymore just...nothing. "When I'm done here and you are able...come to my cabin and we'll...talk more" he stated calmly before finally leaving Tali alone with her thoughts in the sick-bay

* * *

"Address me only as commander" the words played over and over in her mind never endlessly. He had taken everything away from her, their love, their future, her right to use his first name. Everything she had in this life he had crushed, she wanted to cry but she couldn't find the energy to bring forward any tears. She laid there hating herself. She had done this, this was her fault and now he hated her.

 _It's all my fault, It's all my fault, It's all my fault,_ _It's all my fault, It's all my fault, It's all my fault,_ _It's all my fault, It's all my fault, It's all my fault._

Suddenly she spoke, to no one as the room was empty

"I'm sorry"

* * *

As soon as he walked into her room Liara stood from the chair she was sitting in and addressed him, with very noticeable nervousness "C-Commander, how are you?"

He slightly grinned at Liara's concern for him and the...cute way she showed it. "I'm fine Liara but I'm not here to talk about me" He pointed towards the door "Did she cause you any problems?"

"Tali? I wouldn't say she caused my any problems it was just...surprising" She hurriedly stated. She seemed to grow even more nervous as she continued to speak "You...you don't have to be so hard on her"

Shepard stood there for a moment analyzing exactly what Liara had said. He chuckled a bit

 _Yes I do, I fucking hate it but yes I do_

"I'll keep that in mind Liara" he walked up and put a hand on her shoulder which caused her to tense up slightly. "Thank you for your understanding, and if you could please keep this whole thing a secret, don't want to cause any unnecessary trouble between the crew or squad"

Liara nodded in affirmation "of course commander...o-our little secret"

Shepard chuckled "Yes our little secret" he noticed that Liara seemed to glance around nervously, like she wanted to ask him something but wasn't sure if she should "Liara? is there something else?" he gently asked

Liara tensed up again before she slowly and nervously asked the question that seemed to be bothering her "It's just that...well...i-is it true? A-are you and Tali..."

Shepard stood there for moment pondering. To be honest he didn't really know the answer himself, he cared about Tali but to what extent he wasn't sure. It was also true that they had...done things together but that situation was 50 different types of complicated. On the other hand he hated the way Tali had treated him as if he was some sort of possession, some type of trophy to be shown off to others. He also didn't like the way she jumped to conclusions, assuming one night together meant they were simply meant to be. And of course the most noticeable thing about her was her damn obsession...but he wasn't even entirely sure how he felt about that.

He sighed "I...I really don't know" before walking out of Liara's room. As soon as the door to Liara's room closed behind him he heard a faint whisper

"I'm sorry"

He glanced to his side and saw Tali still in the same motionless state on her mattress

"I'm sorry" she whispered again

He sighed as he continued to walk out of the sick-bay, eager to finally put this rough morning behind him

"I'm sorry"

He stopped walking "I heard you the first time" he responded, this time without any anger or spite, just a simply stating a fact.

"I'm sorry"

The commander turned around the face Tali, puzzled by her strange behavior "Tali...it's" He wanted to say it was fine, but truth be told it wasn't fine, they still had much to talk about before things would be fine "it's not necessary for you to keep apologizing"

"I'm sorry"

He began to walk up to her, past experiences making him keep an eye on her for any sudden movements as he approached, and addressed her when he was right beside her "Tali...I think we need to have that talk now,report to my cabin immediately" he said with a small amount of worry that he hoped she didn't really pick up on

"I'm sorry"

He put a hand on her shoulder and slightly but firmly shook her. Thankfully it seemed to have the desired effect as he saw Tali turn to face him. Seemingly snapped out of her trance she spoke "Jho-Commander" he noticed it seemed to almost cause her physical pain to address him as such "h-how can I help you?"

 _Well that's not a good sign._ Shepard thought to himself, noticing Tali's unhinged behavior. "I need you, if you're able, to report to my cabin immediately we...we need to talk"

Tali quickly shook her head in affirmation "Y-yes commander" she looked down and twirled her thumbs again, an admittedly cute gesture. "A-anything for you commander"

Shepard patted her shoulder before removing his hand and making his way to the door "See you soon Tali, I...I hope we can work this all out" he said before making his way back to his cabin.

* * *

What could possibly be better than discovering nirvana? Simple, Discovering Nirvana after reaching the lowest point in your life. This is very fitting analogy for what had just happened to Tali as her mind raced with the possibilities that the commander's finishing statement implied.

 _Ke-keelah he doesn't hate me, he want's to work this out, he can forgive me  
_ _I...I can't mess this up, I won't mess this up  
_ _I'll make him forgive me...make him love me again  
_ _No matter what it takes_

Despite her previous mood and her still slightly lingering sickness she shot up from the mattress with new found energy and quickly began to walk to the exit before she suddenly stopped and turned around and headed to the door that lead to Liara's room. She didn't enter her room however, she knew that would displease John, instead she stood in front of the door. She whispered "You can't have him, he's mine, no one will take him from me." She knew that Liara wouldn't be able to hear her but it still brought her immense joy to say

Satisfied with herself she went back to making the short trip to Shepard's cabin, eager to proove that they could work this out and that they still had many years together.

He would understand, He just had too.


	7. Clearing things up

Author's notes-Saw a review from a guest(appreciate the review btw) about Shepard doing a complete 180 in regards to his feelings towards Tali(from accepting to not so accepting) and decided I needed to get this chapter out faster than I usually do. I know that it may seem like I was jumping around with Shepard's reaction but the truth is that Shepard wasn't necessarily mad at Tali for what she did, rather that she almost revealed it. I know I probably messed up expressing it but Shepard was so frustrated because Tali nearly got herself in some serious trouble(raping people tends to do that). Hopefully this chapter further clears up what I was trying to do but make no mistake Tali and Shepard will end up together in this story...the only problem is getting Shepard to agree.

Oh also just hit 10,000 views on this story with 90 followers, far more than I was ever expecting. thanks everybody

* * *

Shepard sat on his still messy bed as he attempted to gather his thoughts. There were mere moments before Tali came strolling into his room for that talk he had brought up. The problem was that he had no idea what he was going to say, what could he say?

 _I'm sorry but I'm not really all that sorry because it was you who made me act like that?  
Sorry that it's not my fault you drugged me, then blabbered to the crew about it?  
Sorry that I kept you from being thrown off this ship and into the nearest prison?_

He sighed in defeat as he failed to come up with a start to what was sure to be a tense, awkward conversation. Of course he had absolutely no idea what Tali would even do when she walked through that door. Would she scream his head off for the way he treated her or would she simply give him the cold shoulder? He reflected that he wouldn't be able to blame her for whatever she did.

"Address me only as commander" he mumbled to himself "great way to show her you care John, tell her to never use your name again" he chastised himself. The arguably more logical part of his mind told himself that was the smart thing to do as it would keep the others from growing suspicious, after-all it was not normal to address a commanding officer by their first name. He glanced at the bed as he sat there pondering if he had really made the best decision in the sick-bay moments ago.

 _Would fixing up the bed make the situation less awkward? Probably not but still worth a shot._ He thought to himself as he got up and began to straighten up the bed. After a moment he decided against it because it seemed the majority of his bedding would have to go though the wash...perhaps twice. He blushed slightly as he tore the sheets off his bed and balled them up to throw in some, hopefully, discreet corner of the room.

Just as the sheets landed the door to his cabin opened. Shepard's full attention was now drawn to Quarian standing there completely still, minus the frantic wringing of her hands. She simply stood there eyes glued to the floor, not daring to roam anywhere else.

 _...No screaming?_ Shepard thought to himself before speaking "Tali...please come in and take a seat" he said while gesturing towards that a chair that he had pulled to be in front of his bed. Tali nodded frantically before nervously making her way to the chair and sitting down. Shepard eased himself on the mattress and faced Tali as he spoke, or at least attempted, to Tali.

"Tali I-"

Suddenly Tali cut him off, finally looking at him rather than the ground"Joh-Commander I would like to...to apologize for my behavior and...I" she went back to gazing at the floor and her voice lost alot of her previous energy " I'm sorry."

Shepard felt something inside of him die when he saw Tali in this state of mind.  
 _I think I'd rather have her scream my head off._ He thought to himself as he witnessed Tali in her pit of self-loathing. He couldn't stand seeing her like this anymore, wouldn't see her like this anymore. He was going to set things straight...somehow.

"Have to admit Tali getting a little tired of hearing you say 'I'm sorry' haven't you already said it enough?" He lightly chided hoping to ease the tension and to make her feel more at ease. He cringed however when he noticed that she tensed up and the frantic wringing of Tali's hands had picked up in speed slightly.

She stumbled over her words "I-I'm sorr... I mean I err...uhh"

The commander chuckled, in humor and in mild disbelief "I was joking Tali." He put a hand on her shoulder "I'm sorry I was just trying to ease the tension."

He left his hand on her shoulder a bit longer than needed, and Tali noticed. She gazed at his hand that was currently holding her reassuringly and frantically nodded her head in understanding and, unbeknownst to Shepard, with excitement.

He pulled his hand back, ignoring the almost whimper that came out of Tali as he did so, and spoke again "But there was a bit of truth in that joke, you don't have to apologize anymore...in fact it's my turn" He rubbed his neck as he continued "I... I said some things back there that I perhaps could have put in a better way."

He saw Tali tilt her head in confusion before she suddenly tensed up and began to stutter out excitedly "D-does that mean that we..."

Shepard however cut her off before she could finish "Wait a minute Tali" he commanded as he brought up a hand in a stopping gesture "While I do regret how I said it I still do mean what I said" He saw all of the previous energy fade from Tali and quickly spoke again before she sunk into another pit of depression "Hold on, give me a minute to explain."

He sighed "Okay commander's orders stay quite while I try explain, afterwords you can ask any questions or scream my head off or whatever. understood?"

Tali piqued up "I...Yes commander"she sat up with full attention gazing intently at Shepard.

 _She's cute when she gets so excited._ Shepard quickly focused his thoughts to the matter at hand "Well to start off I am going to have to blame you for my...less than stellar mood this morning" He grimaced at the memory of how rudely he had treated the doctor and assumed that his next check-up may be slightly less gentle "I know that may sound messed up but...you scared me Tali, scared the hell out of me" He heard the beginning of a fumbled sentence from Tali and quickly raised his hand again to stop her " To be more specific I thought you had gotten yourself in some serious trouble, that you had given yourself a one-way ticket off of this ship to a nearby prison" He smiled gently as he looked at her and continued "Obviously I was scared that I wouldn't be able to see you again so I...acted without really thinking and ended up saying some things that probably sounded alot worse than they really were."

He saw Tali continue to nervously wring her hands and decided that he had better let her ask whatever questions she had before she simply had a breakdown from confusion and anticipation "I guess I've said my piece and it looks like you're getting tired of hearing me talk, go ahead ask those questions I know you're dying to ask."

Tali unexpectedly shot up from her seat "wha-I...No I could never get tired of hearing you talk but I do have questions that I want to ask...but that doesn't mean I get tired of hearing your voice or anything it just means-"

"Tali your rambling again, go ahead and ask your questions" Shepard teased with a small smile.

Tali sat back down in her chair, seemingly calm downed and returning to her more nervous posture. The floor seemed to be rather interesting to her as that's what she stared at while she asked her first question. "So...So did you mean it...we aren't a...couple?"

"Well...no we aren't" He noticed that Tali sank into her chair even more, resembling a deflated balloon. "well not yet at least" he quickly added.

A small but still noticeable squeal of delight came from Tali, thoughts of what Shepard just said filling her mind.  
 _Not yet, He said not yet  
_ _That means it will happen, he has accepted that he is mine and I am his  
_ _We're practically already bond mates!_

Shepard oblivious that Tali was already in her own world of thought continued to explain "I'm not sure how it works in Quarian culture but relationships in human culture are a bit...slow. They take time to develop they aren't just instantaneous."  
 _And the healthy ones don't tend to start off with tranquilizer and bindings._ Shepard thought slightly bitterly to himself.

Tali decided that Shepard explaining how human relationships work was a sign that she should explain how it worked in her culture. "We'll for us Quarians a relationship is a very serious bond, and once the two finally" she coughed slightly, from lingering sickness or awkwardness Shepard did not know "well **bond** they stay together for life, becoming each other's most valued and treasured possession."

Shepard felt a slight chill run up his spine from hearing Tali's explanation "So what you're saying is-"

Tali quickly finished his sentence for him "By Quarian culture we are already...what is it called in your culture...married!" her voice took a slightly more sinister and darker tone "I am yours and you are mine, **forever.** "

Shepard, either not noticing or not fazed by the ominous way that Tali spoke, continued "That sounds...interesting but..."

Tali tilted her head slightly her eyes dimming slightly "but?"

"but I find it hard to believe that such a serious bond could be formed over such a short period of time, after all we've only known each other for a few months now" Shepard stated plainly while shrugging his shoulders.

Tali suddenly tensed up, a blush hidden by the visor quickly formed on her face. Her voice was shaky and uneven, not from sadness but intense nervousness "W-well I may have...cut some corners and hurried the process b-but what's done is done r-right?"

"No not right" Shepard said with a small smug smile finding some measure of enjoyment from seeing Tali stumped like this. "so tell me how long is it supposed to take for two Quarians to reach that point in a relationship."

A small and inaudible mumble came from Tali.

"A bit louder Tali, I didn't catch that."

Another mumble, still quite but audible, came from Tali "at least three years."

 _Three years? Well I guess it makes sense because of their suits and all but...well that still kinda sucks._ Shepard thought to himself, processing the information before addressing Tali again "Well I can understand why you'd want to...speed up the process a bit" He rubbed his neck as he thought to himself again.

 _Hell of a way you picked to "speed it up" however._ "But you still went a bit fast for my liking. Call me a conservative but I like to get to know my partner a bit better before we...well" he raised his hands and did air quotation marks "bond."

He noticed Tali's eyes under her visor appeared to be wide open and her voice was bubbly but still a little uneven "a-are you saying that you...you want."

Shepard finished her sentence for her this time "Date you?" He huffed in genuine disappointment "Well yes that would be nice but our schedules don't really allow that, you can thank Saren for that."

Tali thought darkly to herself. _I am going to kill that Turian bosh'tet._

Shepard not noticing that Tali was mumbling to herself "When this whole saving the galaxy thing is done with however maybe we could...well get to know each other a bit more, decide if we should move on" He said a warm smile.

Tali again thought darkly to herself, this time however in a more positive and excited way. _I'm going to kill that Turian bosh'tet as soon as I can!_

Shepard spoke again interrupting Tali's musings on what exactly she would do when she did get her hands on Saren "Well I think that pretty much covers it right? I want you to know Tali, I'm not opposed to being in a relationship with you, but it has to be on both our terms, not just yours" He said hoping that it didn't sound like he was scolding her.

Tali however seemed to have more questions "I...I have two more questions...or one question and a request"She said hurriedly.

 _A request? oh boy this might get interesting real fast._ Shepard thought to himself. "Okay Tali, shoot"he said with a small grin.

"W-well in the sick-bay you...you said that we...we didn't make love last night" She gazed at Shepard her eyes dimming as her speech picked up in pace "I've been trying to wrap my head around what exactly that was supposed to mean, I mean that can't be true right? Can you please explain?"

Shepard gulped and felt a small blush on his face as he recalled some of the events from last night "W-well no that wasn't necessarily lovemaking."

Tali's head tilted to the side as she continued to stare at Shepard "How can that be true?"

Shepard cleared his throat before speaking again "That was a bit too...intense to be called lovemaking" he noticed the light in Tali's eyes return and she straightened her head. Now that she had seemed to calm down Shepard decided it would be safe to tease her a bit "Play your cards right and I might just show what lovemaking really his" he said confidently with a small grin and a wink.

Tali seem absolutely flabbergasted "I...that...errm..I-I would like that very much" she managed to stutter out as her breathing picked up in pace and she felt her face heat up.

"Course you would" Shepard teased again with a small chuckle "Now let's hear that request" he held up a finger "keep it innocent, you still have to wait until you can make more exciting requests from me."

Tali franticcly nodded showing that she understood before she spoke again while pushing two of her fingers together "Well I was just thinking...I know what I did was wrong and I promise not to do it again so...I don't have to be punished anymore right?"

 _Punished what the hell did I do to punish her?_ Shepard thought to himself after hearing Tali's odd request, however Tali quickly clarified what she meant.

"Can I...Can I please use your name again?"

 _She considered that a punishment? How much does she like me exactly?_

"P-please saying it brings me so much joy, I've felt so empty since you told me not to say it anymore. P-please it would really mean alot to me." Tali practically begged.

 _Well guess that kind of answers that question._ Shepard sighed before answering "Only when it's just you and me, when there are others around I still need you to address me as commander, or even just Shepard."

Tali suddenly lunged up from her chair and wrapped her arms around the commander "Thank you John!" she happily called out as she tightened her grip around the commander.

Shepard was slightly caught off guard from the sudden physical contact and her overjoyed reaction "ermm...no problem Tali" he said while he casually patted her back.

Tali nuzzled her head into her neck before whispering "John."

"Yeah?" Shepard asked wondering what she wanted now.

"John" Tali said again.

"Yes Tali?" He asked again slightly more confused.

However Tali said nothing, well nothing except his name...multiple times.

"John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John. John."

"Tali...what are you doing?"Shepard asked while glancing to her wrist to check for any sudden movement. None came however and Tali simply breathed in deeply before letting go of the commander.

"Just catching up for some lost time John, I've been wanting to say that for a while now" she said while bouncing on her toes.

 _She really is cute in her own little way._ Shepard thought to himself as a small smile formed on his face. He was going to speak again when suddenly his omni tool flared to life as he received a message from Joker.

He read over the message quickly before addressing Tali again "Tali are you feeling well enough for a combat mission?"

Tali nodded frantically "If it's with you I'm always ready!"

Shepard chuckled slightly "great to hear" He closed his omni tool as he continued to speak "Go get ready then and inform Garrus to meet us at the Mako." he ordered gently

Tali nodded in understanding "Of course John, where are we going this time?"

Shepard grunted a response as he also started to get ready"Virmire."

* * *

Ending note-Finally going to get back to moving the actual story of mass effect along next chapter, I'll let you all deduce what's going to happen on Virmire ; )


	8. Confrontation

Author's note:

Want to start off by saying I'm extremely sorry for the lack of updates and that I seriously doubt that I'll be able to get better about updating normally. Not only do i have the typical writers block, and feel more motivated to write other stories but I have also noticed a drastic decrease in free time since getting my job as a laborer for a construction company(who would have thought right?). I wake up at around 5 AM and get home around 7 PM and by that time all I have energy for is to crawl to my couch and fall asleep T-T

But Tali is my space waifu so I simply refuse to let this story die...just going to be pretty slow on updates.

Also going to take this time to respond to some (extremely appreciated) reviews:

Snek-Lord - assuming you are talking about the "death" at the end of Mass effect 1...that is a very good question. This story is written as I go (except for some plans I have set for certain parts) so all I can say for sure is that I do intend on following the story of mass effect and having him "die" at the end of Mass effect 1 as I lack the confidence to change such a fundamental part of the story.

Talimancer88- They're already together, just have to get Shepard to understand that .

Someone- I read over and consider (almost) every review when writing this story because I only really have half of an idea what I'm doing here. I also really appreciate that you think I do a good job writing a yandere as I spend a fair bit of time "researching" the topic.

* * *

Before each mission there was always a simple routine all active squad members went through. Check and clean any and all equipment, stock up ammo and medi-gel, and report to the meeting room for a quick debrief on the upcoming mission. Simple really, all of it.

It was anything but simple for Tali however as her head pulsed with every step and she suppressed the urge to vomit every time she bent over to pick something. She wanted to do nothing more than just lie in the soft bed she shared with John and snuggle up to him as she she felt his presence give her a feeling of bliss that was sure to block out her all of her current symptoms but she couldn't. Another mission had popped up out of the blue and from what she could gather from John's quick shift in mood and sudden seriousness it was imperative that they completed it quickly and successfully. That's why she decided to tell a little white lie and say she was feeling good enough for mission, she would do anything, brave any hardship if it meant that John would be able to complete his mission, to be content and happy.

While it was very true that John's happiness was extremely important to her there was another motive deep in Tali's mind, so deep it might as well be called instinct. Due to the nature of this mission John had decided that all available squad members would be accompanying him on this mission rather than the usual two he brought with him(which usually consisted of Garrus and Tali). Tali's eyes narrowed in determination as she thought about the two females that would be joining them on this mission.

 _I'm sure they think they can use this as a opportunity to get closer to him, to steal him  
_ _I won't let them take him, I won't_

She knew that Liara was already aware that John was taken but would that truely be enough to stop her from trying to take him for himself? Of course Ashley had no idea of John's current relationship status and Tali was sure that even if she did know that wouldn't stop her from trying to steal what was rightfully hers.

She mumbled to herself darkly as she sat on a container near the Mako while cleaning her shotgun. "I wonder how common friendly fire is in the alliance, would the occasional misfire cause that big of a commotion?" Wrapped up in her dark musings she failed to notice that someone was occupying the same container as her while waiting for squad to finish preparing for the mission

"Enough of a commotion for your resident former c-sec officer to notice" Garrus lowly growled while he glared at her with a strange mixture of concern and contempt.

Tali's whole body tensed up and her head snapped at a eerily fast speed to make eye contact with the Turian sitting next to her. She chastised herself in her head for letting him catch her red handed, it looks like operation secure the commanders love via selective friendly fire would have to be cancelled...or at least put on temporary hold.

 _Was I really so deep in thought to not notice this bulky bosh'tet sitting right next to me?  
_ _How long has he been sitting there, How much did her hear?  
_ _Keelah how did I not notice the oppressive aura of smugness?_

Uncaring of the slight mental breakdown Tali was most likely going through right now Garrus continued "I really do have to ask, are you just trying to do any crime you can think of at this point? I mean you already have the quite the resume at this point"

Tali cocked her head slightly? Crimes? Unless dispatching of enemies on a combat mission was considered murder she was sure she was innocent. "C-crimes? It's not a crime to have the occasional... extreme thought is it?" she broke off eye contact and glanced nervously to the left "Everybody has them r-right? doesn't mean they actually carry them out"

Garrus sighed "There are so many things wrong with that sentence that I'm not sure where to start but moving past those extreme thoughts, which no they are not normal, that wasn't what I was referring to" Garrus leaned in slightly and Tali could practically feel the anger radiate off him "I'm not sure what it's like in those backwater ships you call home but in the rest of the moderately civilized galaxy it is considered a crime to drug and rape someone" he hissed with obvious hate.

Tali gasped and started to fidget and tremble. Normally she would be filled with righteous fury after hearing someone calling her home a "backwater ship" but right now she couldn't care less about the fleet. Somehow the last person she wanted to find out about her methods of entering a relationship with John knew every single detail and was staring her down.

"I-I...How d-" Tali tried to question how exactly Garrus found out but was quickly cut off as Garrus asked and answered the question for her.

"How do I know? I know because believe it or not the commander has people he feels comfortable talking to other than you" He brought up a hand and forcefully placed a finger on her faceplate and pointing accusingly at her "comfortable enough to tell them that not only did you drug and raped him but that he also thought they had encouraged you to do that!" He put some more force behind his finger and shoved her head back slightly, enough to further get the point across that he was extremely angry with her

Tali simply had no idea how to respond how could she? "y-you did tell me...t-to"

Garrus cut her off again "Don't" he leaned back into a normal sitting position letting Tali regain her much missed personal space "Don't even think about finishing that sentence" Garrus sighed and let his face fall to the palm of his left hand "Let him know he's off the market" he chuckled at himself "spirits how could I have been so damn stupid, of course you wouldn't know what that meant."

Tali looked down at the floor, to ashamed to continue looking up. "h-how was I supposed to take it?" she mumbled weakly "how else could I have made him mine and mine alone?"

Garrus chuckled more, not the smug or satisfied chuckle he was associated with but instead one filled with disbelief and regret "I meant that you actually confront him with your feelings, with maybe a dash of seduction on the side" he lifted his head back up and looked at her again "I suppose it was foolish of me to think a obviously deranged maniac would understand, so my bad"

Tali wanted to be angry at Garrus, wanted to hate him but she simply couldn't. She wasn't ashamed to admit that she was extremely satisfied with herself at first after bonding with the commander but afterwards she came to regret it immensely for all the pain she knew she caused John. The way he was hurt,worried, and angry after the ordeal was apparent no matter how much he tried to hide it for her sake. She had got caught up in her own selfish desires that she had quickly lost sight of what was truly important to her, his happiness. The fact of the matter was that at this moment Garrus was right and perhaps John's happiness was important to him as well.

Tali felt a tear roll down her cheek as he choked out her response "I...I'm sorry" she found the willpower to bring herself to look back at the Turian "I know that I...that I hurt him and I'm sorry...I really am" she continued to stare at the Turian as she felt more tears roll down her cheek

She watched as the glare in his eyes softened and he seemed to ease up before she heard another chuckle come from him, this one far warmer than the previous ones "I suppose that's a start" Tali's eyes widened slightly and she felt herself calm down as Garrus's mood improved "Alot of work to be done sure, but as long as you realize what you did was wrong, in so many ways, I think there just might be a tiny scrape of hope for you...maybe" he said with his normal smug tone, one that Tali thought she would never be happy to hear

Tali felt a slight smile form on her face "Well gee thanks for the words of encouragement Garrus, you sure know how to cheer someone up" she moved to push herself off of the container but in the process she stumbled a fair bit and nearly fell, and this was caught by Garrus

"Apparently not enough encouragement to get you to walk normally...be honest with me Tali how sick are you feeling right about now?" before Tali could even respond he added "Actually scratch that tell me how willing you would be to go on this mission if our other female squad mates weren't joining us"

Garrus barely caught the low grumble and muffled "bosh'tet" before Tali responded "I would sooner headbutt Wrex if it meant I got to skip out on this mission"

"Let me guess, you're worried that one of those "bosh'tets" as you call them will make a move on him during the mission?" he didn't even need to get a vocal answer as he saw Tali tense up again and begin to twirl her thumbs "Right, thought so. Well then I suppose I'll just have to do you a favor and keep the bosh'tets at bay while you actually rest of your sickness" he sighed "don't worry I'll inform Shepard...or whatever you call him now, I'm sure he'd let his favorite crazy person sit this one out"

Looking past the crazy remark that he often used when talking to her Tali felt a overwhelming sense of gratitude but she couldn't help but wonder something...

"w-why would you do so much for me? Are you not angry with me anymore?"

"Furious actually, but for some odd reason the commander seems to actually have quite the thing for you so I'd rather not see you faint on the battlefield or worse" the Turian also rose off the container before continuing "Personally I don't have a thing for crazy women but it seems Shepard does, so as his ever reliable squad mate It's my duty to keep his safe."

As Garrus finished speaking he noticed that the rest of the squad was already loading up into the Mako and that the Commander had just arrived from the elevator. Shepard looked around briefly before his eyes landed on the pair of dextros and he began to make his way towards them with a smile.

"Don't tell the others I said this but are my two favorite squad mates ready to roll out?" he glanced back almost jokingly to see if anyone else did hear that comment and noticed that Wrex was staring dead at him before quickly turning his head back around "Well Wrex looks like he might shoot me any moment now" he said with another lighthearted chuckle.

"Don't be to full of yourself Shepard, Wrex is ready to shoot anyone pretty sure all Krogans are like that" he could have sworn he heard a deep rumbling growl from across the room but decided to ignore it as he continued "and to answer your question your top squad mate is ready to go but Ms. Second place is going to have to sit this one out"

Shepard turned his attention to Tali but before he could ask anything Tali practically exploded

"Second Place? Listen here you sleazy Turian Bosh'tet just because you have a rough idea on the very basics of how to shoot a sniper rifle doesn't make you the best squad mate, and not to mention that attitude that you seem to think is cool, and"

As Tali continued to rant and argue about her placing on the favorite list Shepard turned his attention back to Garrus "Everything alright with her?"

"The opposite it seems like she's still recovering from your fun activities from last night" Garrus quipped with a slight nudge and chuckle "Of course she tried to but on the big girl mask and go anyway but I talked her out of it she really does need her rest"

Shepard nodded "Understood, Thank you for looking out for her Garrus" He slapped the Turian's back "Now get on the Mako, I'll be right behind you after I defuse this little timebomb" he said after glancing towards Tali, who was still ranting about how awful Garrus actually was.

"Yes sir commander sir" Garrus mockingly saluted and made his way towards the mako. Shepard watched him walk off before turning back to face Tali

"oh and who actually thinks being a c-sec officer is even that cool? might as well be some store security" Tali continued to ramble before noticing that she was alone with John. "Sh-Shepard I'm sorry but I don't really think I have what it takes to join you after...well after last night" she finished weakly.

"Okay and what part about that are you supposed to be sorry about? Go ahead and go get some rest" Shepard said with a smile that almost seemed to mock her for thinking she had anything to be sorry for "I'll be back before you know it, believe it or not I'm actually a fairly competent commander"

"I-I know that!" Tali blurted out "I wasn't trying to say that you need me to keep your safe or anything I just wanted you to know that I really wanted to be down there with you and I'm really sorry that I couldn't an-"

"Your so cute when you ramble" Shepard looked around to ensure no one was watching before leaning in and kissing the top of her face plate " Don't worry I understand now go get some rest, that's a order" he said with a soft smile before quickly turning and making his way to the Mako.

"Y-yes sir" Tali weakly stumbled out as as she watched Shepard enter the Mako. She turned and made her way towards the elevator happily thinking to herself

 _Everything will be alright_

* * *

Ending notes- Okay I originally intended to actually write all of the Virmire mission and all but I felt like it was important to get some closure to the whole rape fiasco and help push forward the Friendship(?) between Garrus and Tali. There were some ideas I had about Virmire that invloved Tali being on Virmire but I decided against it for two reasons

1\. As pointed out in a review the immune system of Quarians needed to play a larger part, it wouldn't make sense for Tali to be ready for a mission right after getting sick

2\. I finally decided that while I want Tali to be extremely possessive and obsessive I wanted there to be plenty of fluff so I decided against some of the ideas that would have made her a complete maniac ( For example I thought about changing the situation on virmire to change so it was possible to save both Kaiden and Ashley but Ashley would die anyway due to some manipulations from Tali)

Anyway again it may be a fair bit of time before another update for this story happens (I've been really wanting to write a yandere fanfic for the anime my youth romantic comedy is wrong as i expected and continuing my yandere overwatch fanfic) but this story IS NOT DEAD


	9. Everything is not fine

Author's note- Okay so let's just get this out of the way, I'm sorry. It's been like what half a year since I updated this? Yeah I messed up, writers block is a hell of thing. I really did try to write this chapter and to be honest I never managed to do anything I really liked, this just felt like something I was obligated to do and I think the quality might of suffered (not that it was ever that good am I right?) I think for as far as this story goes I'm going to take a semi-break and work on revising the older chapters while I try to find that spark for this story again. So anyway let's just try to fumble through the rest of this story together and hope it comes out decent yeah?

* * *

Worrying is a strange thing, the more you actively try to avoid it the more you inadvertently end up doing it. Something that Tali was learning firsthand.

 _He's practically a super-soldier, he'll be fine...I should be down there with him...No I'm sure Garrus is watching his back...  
I SHOULD DEFINITELY BE DOWN THERE WITH HIM!_

After feeling a little loss after the departure of the combat team she had eventually settled on making her way back to Shepard's...no **their** cabin to rest as Shepard had commanded. Of course try as she may (and she swears she did) she found herself doing anything but resting. Pacing back and forth anxiously seemed to be her favorite past time at the moment as she played out various bad scenarios, most of them completely outrageous.

 _What if the Mako breaks down?_ "Keelaaaah I should be down there" she groaned out as she deflated on to the mattress behind her, seemingly exhausting herself with her rapid pacing. She felt herself sink into the mattress, her body exhausted but her mind anything but. In a effort to calm herself she decided to focus on other things, for example the memories that flashed through her head as she buried herself in the mattress that just yesterday was used to...

Tali squealed to herself as she rolled around the mattress, her mind now successfully distracted from her worries. After all Shepard would be just fine...right?

* * *

"Alright Wrex let's lower our weapons, we're friends right?" Shepard tensely asked as he stared down the Krogan in front of him, his voice a mix of commanding and bargaining.

"A friend wouldn't doom their friend's race to extinction." Wrex growled.

Garrus who was standing next to Shepard, also tense with his weapon drawn on the Krogan, hissed to him "Shepard he's getting angry...well more angry."

"I noticed!" Shepard hissed back before turning his attention back to Wrex "Look Wrex I understand why you don't want to blow this facility to hell but listen to me, this is not the future the Krogan want!" Taking a chance he lowered his weapon before passionately pointing to the facility "This Facility...this cure, is nothing but a future of being tools of war!" He then moved his hand to lower Garrus's weapon, further defusing the situation "You know it has to be destroyed." He finished his voice even and stern.

Wrex continued to stare down his weapon and Shepard briefly reconsidered his previously sound decision to lower his weapon before Wrex finally lowered his as well. "You're right Shepard, the Krogan are done fighting battles that aren't there's to fight" He glanced towards the Facility "I'll help you level this place, but I will have Saren's head"

Shepard sighed in relief before nodding in understatement and approval, something that Wrex took as a sign that the conversation was over and reaon to walk off, before he turned to face Garrus. "Thanks for...whatever it is you think you were accomplishing by pointing another gun at the clearly upset Krogan."

Garrus shrugged "Well I _thought_ you're diplomacy skills would fail...again, so I figured I'd be there to save you...also again."

Shepard squinted his eyes in annoyance and vexation. "Your faith in my ability to command and eagerness to assist me has been noted, I'll keep it in mind the next time I need someone to do maintenance on the Mako." He motioned to the Mako to accentuate his point, which was sparking and covered in scorch marks. "Oh look at that I need someone to do maintenance on the Mako."

Garrus's jaws dropped a bit before he regained himself with a cough "Now Shepard don't take it personally I'm just speaking from experience, like how what was supposed to be a quick questioning of Fist turned into a shoot out that had over 20 casualties...including Fist"

"Okay so first things first none of those things were my fault, Secondly get to work on the Mako." Shepard commanded with a grin on his face before walking off.

 _30 minutes into this mission and the Mako's in tatters and Wrex almost shot me, this mission is just off to a fantastic start._

While walking off the commander was snapped out his thoughts when he heard a grumble coming from behind him "Wouldn't need maintenance so badly if you knew how to drive it in the first place."

 _...That's actually a fair point. I mean it's not my fault those things handle like a fish out of water...that also just happens to be drunk but still..._

He turned around and started to head towards the Mako with Garrus "Or maybe if the person in charge of firing the main cannon was as good as he claimed the Mako wouldn't have taken so many hits."

Garrus chuckled "Maybe...so it's both of our faults?"

"When isn't it?" Shepard Scoffed back

"Fair point" and with that the two began to work on the Mako getting it ready for what was still to come...

* * *

" **YOU EXIST BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT AND WILL END BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT"** The booming and monotone voice of the projection proclaimed. The projection of course was off what was recently believed to be Saren's Geth flagship, Sovereign. Obviously, and horrifyingly, that wasn't the case and Sovereign in all reality was actually a reaper itself.

"You can try to wipe us out. You'll just fly into a whole galaxy united and ready to destroy you, all of you, and be defeated. I'll make sure of that" Shepard boldly claimed with a voice full of determination and spirit. He continued to stare down Sovereign, showing that he would not be intimidated.

 **"DELUDE YOURSELF IF YOU WISH, THIS EXCHANGE IS OVER"** And with that the projection faded away, shortly afterwards the glass in the room erupted. Shepard turned to face his team, consisting of Garrus and Wrex, to address them.

"We're leaving, now!" A brief nod came from both of them as they ran from the room, making there way back to where the bomb site was to be. Shepard hissed in pain as he felt his head pulse, no doubt from the Prothean artifact doing all kind of things to his delicate and sophisticated mind before he reached to his earpiece.

"Joker tell me that bomb is ready to go and you're on your way to drop it off!"

"Yeah we- hey knock it off!" Joker tried to answer but the commander heard a bit a scuffle and Joker was cut off.

"SHEPARD!" Tali's voice suddenly exploded into the commander's earpiece, doing nothing to help his aching head. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? Do you need me to come down?"

"Well now that you mention it..." Shepard considered bringing up his headache and how little she had done to improve it but decided against it "Yes I'm alright, nothing out of the ordinary, and no I don't need you to come down."

"B-but..." Tali tried to protest

"Tali, we'll be fine. I know it's alot to ask but I'll need you to head back to engineering, we're going to need the core at peak efficiency." Shepard commanded in a stern voice before he softened a bit "Please Tali, I need you down there."

"R-right I won't let you down Jo-Shepard!" Tali excitedly beamed back, ecstatic that the commander said he 'needed her'.

"I know you won't, now please I need to talk to Joker, I'll be back before you know it"

"Of course I..." Tali glanced towards Joker who was glaring at her from his seat, rudely shoved aside. "I'll be on my way then...commander" She hesitated a bit before she had to continue "I'll do my best to _please_ you commander" before she dashed off.

Joker blinked a few times before responding "Uhhhh yeah so anyway commander the bomb is prepped and we are..."

Shepard cleared his throat "Yeah here, Believe it or not I can see the ship in front of me, Good work Joker."

 _She just had to get that last comment out there huh? "_ Lets get that bomb off and ready to go, move it people!" He commanded, all to eager to get of this planet before things further complicated.

* * *

Things had complicated further.

"I'm arming the bomb" Kaidan called over the comm channel, determination in his voice offset by a small touch of reluctance. He knew that he'd be dooming himself in the process.

"You're what?!" Shepard nearly shouted back "Just hold on we're on our way back, no need to blow yourself up!"

"It's already done commander. I had to make sure this bomb went off, no matter what! Now go pick up Williams and get the hell out of here!"

Ashley's voice suddenly cut in "What?! Screw that we can handle ourselves!"

Shepard paused. This was not a choice he wanted to make, but one he knew he had to. He took a deep breath before Speaking "Kaidan...radio Joker, tell him to meet us at the bomb site."

"Understood commander, I..." Kaidan replied, no excitement or relief in his voice despite the fact that his life was just saved.

"It's alright LT, I know what I signed on for. No regrets" Ashley reassured Kaidan.

"I'm sorry Ash, I had to make a choice."

"Come on now, How many times do I have to say it?" Ash quipped "No regrets" and with that she cut off her link.

Shepard motioned his team to follow as he made his way towards the elevator that would take them back to bomb site, his mind focused on one tiny detail that no one else seemed to pick up.

The concealed but faintly recognizable quiver in Ashley's voice before she turned off her communicator.

* * *

Shepard limped towards his cabin, putting off the business of reporting to the council about his mission in favor of some well deserved rest. So much had happened, The incident with Wrex, the Prothean beacon, the Talk with Sovereign, the battle against Saren himself, and...losing Ashley. He knew he didn't have the most stable relationship with the gunnery sergeant, her slightly xenophobic views and general bluntness playing a huge part in that, but he knew she was a good solider, a good person and he was never eager to lose those.

As his door opened he was welcomed to a sight that he wasn't quite sure how to feel about. "Welcome back John, I've missed you" Tali happily cooed from his bed, thankfully fully dressed.

Shepard sighed as the door closed behind him "Shouldn't you be down in engineering?"

He saw her tense up and she slightly yelped "W-well all the work was done so I...I figured it was alright to come back and spend time with you" She hurriedly shuffled of the bed and meekly made her way towards the door "I'll...I'll head back down to engineering c-commander."

Shepard reached out and gently grasped her wrist, something that made Tali scream internally, before he pulled her away from the door "No...it's alright" He looked up to her glowing orbs "You can stay...no actually...I want you to stay"

Words failed Tali so she just nodded furiously as Shepard gently pulled her back towards the bed. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound like you were bothering me, I was just surprised is all" He said as he sat down patting the bed next to him motioning her to sit down, something Tali happily did.

"N-no It's alright" Tali blurted out "I...I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions"

Shepard chuckled to himself as he turned to face her "Always finding some way to take blame aren't you?" He grabbed her hand and gently rubbed the top of it with his thumb "So selfless" he said before he looked down mumbling to himself "selfless..."

"John..." Tali noticed his mood had been off, not as bright as he usually was "are you...are you alright?"

He took a deep breath "Ashley didn't make it"

 _So?_ Was the first thought to course through Tali's mind, quickly replaced by relief and happiness. After all who would really care if some harlot intent on making advances on John died? She promised that she wouldn't kill any of them herself but there was nothing stopping her from enjoying the moment when someone else did.

"T-that's awful."She told him as she thought to herself _Wonderful_ "I'm so sorry" She continued to lied, _h_ _appy_ being what she truly wanted to say _._ She took this opportunity to snake her arms around John pulling him into a embrace, playing the roll of grieving teammate as a opening to bring herself closer to John. He did not resist and wrapped his arms around Tali. Tali's heartbeat multiplied tenfold and she felt herself begin to warm up, this time for sure not from her lingering sickness. It seemed hugging was all they would be doing however as he simply patted her back a few times before breaking off the embrace, causing Tali to whimper.

"I'm sorry Tali I'm just...really tired" He laid back on the bed "So" he once again patted the space next to him "let's just lay down alright?"

 _Alright he says, as if it's even up for debate._ Tali thought to herself before she practically torpedoed towards the spot, quickly wrapping any available limbs around Shepard as she sighed contently. "Whatever you need John. I'll be here for you"

 _Always._

* * *

Ending note- Yeah a short chapter I know but in my defense I feel like I wrote everything that need to be written here...right? I just wanted to get the important Virmire choices (Wrex and Kaidan/Ashley) out of the way and without Tali there on Virmire there isn't much of a reason to not skim over them (I just had to include a brief section of the conversation with Sovereign because I absolutely love that line). Next chapter (If/when that comes out) will be back to the bread and butter of this story, Tali and Shepard interaction...possibly of the lemon variety. For further clarification the only events from mass effect 1 I intend on going over is Iilos, battle on the citadel, and MAYBE noveria (I never liked that mission but I have ideas for potential Liara/Tali drama) so until then peace...for like 6 months.


End file.
